… the man. well. not really. the right sized clothes make the man. of course, i went through that phase in college where you could fit two of me in my jeans and every shirt i owned was an extra large. but i grew out of those big sizes and started wearing clothes that fit.
most guys know the size that they wear in clothing. shirt, medium. pants, 32-32. shoes, 10. fitted dress shirt, 15.5 neck, 33 arms. suit coat, 42 long. hat, 7 1/4. boxers, extra freaking large. alright, medium.
these are things that are truths in a man’s life. unless he is losing weight or trying to put on weight, these are infallible measurements that he carrries with him everywhere he shops. and something is just a little ill fitting at one of those sizes, he just deals with it. or it sits in his closet or dresser until its time to make another donation to the salvation army.
occasionally, you run up against a company that messes with your confidence in these numbers. over the last couple of months, my chuck taylor’s started having the rubber sole come away from the canvas. a size 10. i had put insoles in them just to help out with my girl foot arches.
i was at the mall with a friend who had dropped a few el bees and needed some new jeans. call me old fashioned, but i like wearing GAP jeans. besides, if you think i am going to drop almost $200 on a pair of jeans that are only differen because they have a stupid ass horseshoe stitched into the ass pockets, you probably sprinkle lead paint chips on your wheaties in the morning.
anyway, GAP apparently sells chucks now. not a wide array of colors, but chucks nonetheless. and relatively cheap. but alas, they didn’t have a ten in the color i wanted. the guy working there said, there is a nine. they run big. the damn things fit. i was pleased with the fact that i found the shoes that i wanted and that they fit. but at the same time my world was rocked.
you see, most little boys growing up watching and playing sports. so as he goes through puberty and gets older, the growth of a his body are achievements in his life. it was a glorious day the first time that my height was measured above six feet. the same went for the day that i put on my first pair of tens. out of the single digit shoe sizes. a man. now i am a little rattled. what if other measurements that i have relied upon as a man are not as accurate as i believed them to be…?