- last time i went to a dentist, i didn’t exactly have the best financial situation. i was seriously low on flow and the dental coverage at JAJI, a F’ed Co. blew donkeys. so i had to actually get up and take the gauze out of my numb grill and walk out because i couldn’t foot the bill for the day.

my problem at the time was, and is busted teeth. as laid back of a guy as i am on the surface, i am really a stressed out teeth grinder. its like a fucking mill in there at night. slap some wheat in my mouth and night and you will have flour in the morning.

so last week when i ground off another chunk, it was time to take the new dental for a spin.

i am not a big fan of the dentist. its me sitting uncomfortably in a chair for a few hours while someone grinds on my chicklets and yells at me to keep my tongue out of the way. damn tongue. then you walk around the rest of the day with stretched, dry lips and that taste. novacaine. guh.

the only thing worse is the optometrist (yes, my eyes are light sensitive when i am sitting in a dark room and you have a flashlight one sixteenth of an inch away from my eye and no, i do NOT like it when you shoot air at my eye.)

but i am going to the dentist tomorrow.

- still on dating hiatus. haven’t had dinner or drinks with anyone since the fourteenth. i am not sure how i feel about that. or if i should feel about that. just need to shut off my brain. if i close my eyes, its not there.

- having a job is kind of like having a corporate sponsor for your life i think. only you don’t really have to advertise if you don’t want to. it would be cool to have your business card show up as a little jpeg with your own commercial though. “jared yerg! brought to you by midrex technologies! they’ll clean your iron! and sports connection! charlotte’s choice for coed social sports leagues! and last but not least, organ grinders local 69. keeping unionized monkeys dancing since way back in the day!”

- i drew a new look alike comparison this weekend. i can now add ben folds to the list along with jack from will and grace, zach braff, eric clapton when i had my beard, and don knotts in the pre-three’s company days.

- my favorite ben folds song is the one about joining the army. especially the lyric, “so i thought about the army. dad said son, you’re fucking high.”

- i got a case of the mondays.

- a special thanks goes out to laura lou, jamey, rome, patricia, beth, and everybody else that made sure that i got the drunkest i have been in a long time on friday night. the 2AM ramblings blog might have been the tip of the iceberg on my inebriation. and yes, i seem to expand my vocabulary beyond the words i know with “fuck” in them when i am drinking. weird.

- due to said intoxication, i had a nice little hangover yesterday. one of those where i wake up and i really shouldn’t talk because the depth of it vibrates my eyes. that hurts.

so i didn’t get to knock out a large chunk of the final move like intended, leaving that for today.

mad props go out to my boy will the thrill and matty ring who helped me with the final transition. the apartment is toast. done. fin. it only took one ENTIRE toyota tacoma bed FULL of (somewhat nasty) garbage, a trip to goodwill, and a sexterra packed to the gills with shit to get me out. note: you cannot donate a mattress to a charitable organization for redistribution in north cackilacky. i guess they are a little wary of possible slug trails. either that, or the fact that i ripped those tags off.

on one of our breaks once we got to la casa delYerg, we were watching MTV cribs which should just be called tour rappers houses. this is where we got the quote of the day from trick daddy in reference to his scarface themed guest bedroom. “don’t be stealing my ideas. if i come to your house and find you copied my scarface blinds, i will stab your mama in the mouth.” classy.

- its border line butt crack of dawn and the crew that i have started with has long since disipated. gay bryan and the other two bryans? long since gone. the conglomerant of people from my boy jamey’s life has dwindled into the evening.

as i knock out the keys, romey rome and patricia pound out some chords to good tunes. this is life. its what makes it. not only the acknowledgement of what is to come whilst people learn, but the progression.

throughout the night they have come and gone. thoughts accompanied by entertainment of thoughts. the two the tortore of what should never be. not what couldn’t be. but what shouldn’t be. in the high school mindset of it all, which takes over the noggin on the inebriated, subjective tip, the possiblities are endless.

but experience knows better. it teaches. all too cruel a lesson, but a necessity nonetheless.

- i would KILL for taco hell right now. seriously. if you loved me, you would bring me thee some taco supreme’s right now….

you don’t love me.

bastard.

- looking for an out. want a new job like roosevelt wants the new deal to go through. actually, don’t even want a new job. i want to do nothing and have it be everything i would hope it would be.

- alumni sounds like you should have a candle ready to light….

- some how… i won five or six straight games of pool tonight. knocking out the cuts like a madman.

- …with cornuts?

is it corn? or is it a nut?

well, after the elaboration on pork rinds the other day, i got an email regarding the cornut. so here it is for you master lang tau.

its actually corn. they take a special breed of corn and soak it in water for three days. after that they boil it in hot oil until its crispy and hard. then they add all those crazy seasonings. its a larger sized kernal that was originally found in Cuzco, Peru, but they developed a hybrid here stateside.

corn is amazing after reading this. i mean, it could seriously put bubba’s shrimp list to shame with its versatility. corn fritters, corn chips, cream corn, corn on the cob, your corn hole, oops, different thing there… but you get my drift. i love me some corn. and maybe after this i might actually try cornuts. i thought they were nuts. which i am not fond of having in my mouth.

- “so close” ended their regular season at 35-7 last night. i don’t want to jinx it, but i smell my first competitive division, indoor championship tee. so close isn’t too far away.

- with metal markets what they are, i am thinking we should start recycling staples after removing them. its not like you can reuse them, but i am sure you could sell them for scrap if you had enough of them. say, a couple hundred million.

- thankfully, the thrill agreed to help with project dump this weekend. that is the name i have given to the mission of cleaning out the old apartment. it will be done quickly as i will be blaring the song, “old apartment” by the barenaked ladies on a loop. nobody can withstand that much canadian culture for long periods of time.

piece out!

- “Pork rinds are a snack food made from chunks (called ‘pellets’) of cured pork skin (sometimes including portions of meat as well), deep-fried and puffed into light, irregular curls, and often seasoned with chilli pepper or barbecue flavoring. A similar food is cracklings, made from thicker, and therefore harder and crunchier, pieces of fried pigskin.”

that was just for you rome. i personally try not to eat anything that was once a “pellet” of anything. and i am more interested in the pig innards as far as dining. “wrap it all in bacon!” but to paraphrase jules from pulp fiction, “a pig is a filthy animal. they eat, sleep, and root in shit.” and the skin is on the outside of that…

this all stems from a conversation we (me, rome, LP, and patricia) were having last night at T street about the menu for an upcoming dinner party. the guy at the next table over heard us and gave his two cents. “you know why people eat that stuff don’t you? it’s because it tastes good.” you can’t argue with that kind of logic.

- lever 2000 sounds like a lesser degree of audi 5000. you remember when people used to say “i’m audi 5000,” when they were leaving?

- i keep having to give myself that internal “heal” command while sitting there watching others enjoy playing volleyball. its an ambiguous command as i would love for my body to just feel better as well as the dog/master setting where i have to tell myself no. when i told my dad last night that i was thinking of playing tonight his retort was less than cordial. “just staying on your ass for awhile, dickhead. nothing worse than an aging athlete.” i never knew my dad considered me an athlete.

- “You’re the only one who can hold your head up high,
Shake your fist at the gates saying,
“I have come home now!”

Fetch me the spirit, the son and the father,
Tell them their pillar of faith has ascended.

“It’s time now!
My time now!
Give me my
Give me my wings!”…

i love that verse. if you are a guy that STILL hasn’t picked up the 10,000 days album by tool, you need to check between your legs. make sure its still there. your twig and berries, your wedding tackle, your two turntables and microphone, your bits and pieces, your….

hey, keep in touch with yourselves.

piece out.