- so this bastard ernesto (i think there should be more protesting by hispanic groups when the national weather advisory board gives bad weather out of the carribean latin names) comes up and starts dumping agua on us.

yesterday i had to leave work at 5:30 in order to get to volleyball on time. it just so happens that was the peak of monsoon season at the midrex office.

at first glance, i though the tires on the sexterra were flat. but alas, that was just the depth of the puddle it was sitting in. and that puddle ran for a good twenty feet before the car door. fuck. might as well run. here is a little conundrum. if you run, the water splashes higher. about knee height according to the mark on my dress pants. if you walk, the water runs up over your shoes. i found this out as i sat there with the car door open pouring out the contents of my shoes and wringing out my socks.

without sounding too girlie, if they little downpour ruined my favorite pair of kenneth cole’s, i am going to smack everyone i ever meet named ernesto for the rest of my life just out of principle.

- got a little more sleep last night. it helped that i played threes last night in doubleheaders of indoor volleyball. the first game of the second match started as doubles on threes, but matt ring jumped on when they added a fourth. this old body was plum tuckered by the end of the night. and we went either 4-2 or 5-1, i can’t remember.

- jay, get a bra. or a bro/manzere for those things.

- today was the last edition of the quickie on espn.com. this upsets me. for the last four years, i have looked to dan shanoff every morning to provide me with an entertaining recap of the last 24 hours in sports. no more.

- i will probably roll over the 10k myspace profile view and blog 15k view mark today. whoopee!

- for some odd reason, i have the pina colada song stuck in my head again today. this happened a couple of months ago as well. still stymied by a love song in which a dating couple secretly places personal ads and come up with each other. lyrical genius!

- i think i need to put a personal ban on any food with “filling” in it. as i have said before i, like many dogs, lack the ability to spit out food that is too hot. i would much rather sear the roof of my mouth and live in pain. i am sadistic like that. last night’s quick dinner at volleyball, two pop tarts, came out of the microwave a little warm. for those wanting to improve upon their pop tart experience by warming them in a microwave, please note that 25 seconds is entirely too long. it will leave you peeling papyrus sheets of skin out of your mouth for hours. and for insult to injury, i bit my tongue at the same time.

so for a recap, no poptarts, hot pockets, ravioli, cheese sticks, jalepeno poppers, or pizza rolls in my future.

- stay dry.

piece out.

- i am not sleeping again for some odd reason. last night, i dozed off at 1:30am only to wake up at 5am. 3.5 hours. that is more like a nap.

and it may have just been the lack of sleep, but i woke up with an ominous feeling today. one of those days something bad is just going to happen. you can feel it. but you don’t know what. that made me a little nervous driving to work this morning.

this weekend, there will definitely be a night with no drinking that i take some sort of OTC sleeping pill. i want to feel what it is like to have a good nights rest again.

- speaking of sleeping pills, does anybody else watch rescue me?! the season finale was last night. WHAT THE FUCK?! i love cliff hangers, but this is insane. someone else please tell me that you watch it. i need someone to talk to about this show.

- domo.

- domo.

- domo origato mr. roboto.

- domo.

- both the “guest” chairs in my office are missing their right arm rest. this is a common occurrence in the office here. cheap chairs. i think that only the right arm give out because of the fact that the majority of the population is right handed and thus leans that way. weakening the arm rest. but if i think about it, i usually lean to the left to give my right a little break. hmmm… i need a magnifying glass, a pipe, and one of those hats with a brim at both ends…

- if you are merging into traffic at the last minute (ie, one of those assholes that cuts in line), you have no right to bitch about traffic. the domino effect of people slamming on their breaks because you did that is part of the reason traffic is so slow. and people, the point of merging lanes is so that you can accelerate to the rate of speed to match that of oncoming traffic. its not a waiting line where you stop and then gun it. read your driver’s manual, please.

- i feel fuzzy.

piece out.

- i love mail. email is fun, but real mail, sans the bills, is the bees knees. especially if it is a package. not that i hop around the living room with glee when something arrives, but you know what i mean.

the fruits of my ebay bidding labor (clicking that button and then typing in a password) came in the mail yesterday. jet moto for the original playstation. granted, i am not up all hours of the night playing world of warcraft like some people (*cough* jarod and brody *cough*), but i enjoy my certain levels of geekdom when i can.

and playing one of my favorite old school PSone games from back in college on the big screen makes this cat smile. cheshire style.

- last night was also the JAJI, an F’d Co. fantasy football draft. i would like to say it went off without a hitch, but it didn’t. but i will say that the thrill handled it nicely…. pause…. hahaha. i almost shit the bed with some early round flubs, but i think that i amassed quite the team for the season. this was confirmed by the return from injury performance of carson palmer on MNF last night. bring it!

- i actually COOKED myself dinner last night! and i SAVED my leftovers. for those of you that know me, you know this is monumental. granted, it was only a tuna helper meal. but being the avant garde chef that i am, i substituted two cans of chopped turkey in place of the one can of tuna! viola! cordon bleu here i come!

- “did somebody steal your television? was your razor on it?” this is the kind of humor that i must endure by growing a beard in august. kind of along the lines of something a second grader would throw at you and then run away laughing his ass off. “guess what? dog. hahahahahahaha!” its a lot harder to feign humor when the one dishing out such jocularity is twice your age.

day ten of the beard is actually warranting compliments. and yes, i will eventually quit updating you on the growth of hair. just as soon as something else piques my interest….

- please lord, don’t make it rain in the next three hours so that we may become one week closer to finishing the sand volleyball season. i love hanging out with rome, LP, and patricia, but this league has to stop. it just does.

- anybody want to get slobberknockered with me friday night at la casa delYerg? i might take the weekend to go on a bender. got three days…

i am kidding. kind of.

- i really want to put a short deck on the back of the house with an outdoor pool table on it. that is my current little fantasy.

“eight ball corner pocket.”

“make sure you account for the wind.”

- there is a giant fiddlesticks in my schedule right now. october 27th. this is the night of the suicide girls burlesque show at amos’ southend. this is also the night, i am informed, that will hoge returns to the visualite. corksoakermotherbitchshit! decisions. decisions.

- my best friend, quaye, will be coming to the QC at the end of september though! wooo hooo!

- so in my lunacy and boredom yesterday, i crafted a new (unrealistic) theory as to why i am still single. (please note that this is not serious and by no means am i depressed about my single status)

everytime i meet new people, it seems that someone in a group always brings up that i look like someone they already know. “oh you remind me of my friend so and so!” super. i have never met them, but i am sure they must be good looking.

the majority of people, upon first meeting, are relatively superficial. admit it. if they look a certain way, that is how you are going to develop your first impression. so not everybody takes the time to get to know the real person beyond that first glance or two.

here is what i think: if i already look like someone these people already know, that void is already filled in their lives. their quota of people that look like me is already filled by so and so. so they might not take the time to get to know me and miss theYerg boat. so, i grow a beard…

- day nine of fun with facial hair. first time i have seen my boss since he was in india all last week. his proclamation to the office staff: “do we have any good purchasing agents that can buy Jared a razor? going for the bearded look huh?” i will give him credit for incorporating our line of work in there. not bad.

- so i was asked to investigate the appeal of fantasy football… here you go. if you went to a school that didn’t have a nationally televised game. if your closest city growing up’s team sucked ass. if you have no “gear” as a fan of any certain pro squad. then fatasy football is perfect for you. like the game itself, with free agency these days, its all about the players. so if you really get a chubber over the way matt leinart plays, but don’t like arizona, you can depend on the stats he cranks out week in and week out to compete against your buddies. it is the best outlet for smack talking for adult males with no inate athletic abilities. you don’t have to be able to rush for 200 yards every sunday to be able to make your buddy feel like shit that he can’t. you just have to be lucky enough to have ladanian tomlinson do it for you to gain the points to beat your buddy’s imaginary squad. and throughout the season, you get to make roster moves and gamble on a second string QB or change a defense at the last minute because you know that the skins aren’t going to be able to put anything on the board. its the knowledge of the players and the game that gives you success. either that or being the girl in the office whose husband has nothign better to do than monitor injury reports and dominate the waiver wires.

- the u-phonik show was pretty good on saturday. musically anyway. for the life of me, i seriously could not understand any of the lyrics. i know they only sang one song in french (crazy canucks) but they all sounded french to me. no clue. but great music.

- and i finally made it into solstice after that. nice little joint. and double bonus for having the kitchen open until practically closing. nice job on the faux brick too sam.

- i didn’t get to disc golf this weekend. my couch had some sort of invisible substance that would not allow me to get off of it all weekend.

- the monday before a holiday weekend is poop. just the anticipation of not being here NEXT monday eats you alive. it will get worse as the week goes on.

piece out.

- that is right! i am the big winner! who’s the big winner? jared is, that’s who. i mean, its just insane how easy of a victory that was. but i fought off all the other bidders and won the ebay auction for the jet moto game. you would really think there would be more interest in a game even though it has since had at least two sequels and playstation has been made obsolete by PS2. weird. but i got that bitch for 2.99. yeah buddy!

- i thought i could parlay this hot streak into victories at volleyball and in the lotto last night. no such luck.

i had the twenty-four on one line out of five. that was it. a kharmic slap in the face for such a victory on jet moto.

then with the volleyball, we had to play brad’s team fresh off his self assessed worst game of his life. that was probably enough to motivate him to wax our asses. but just in case, my horrible vision and diarrhea mouth were in cahoots and made a comment about a possible foot fault on one of his jump serves in the first game. i KNEW as soon as my mouth betrayed me, that this was going to be bad.

and this was sort of a friendly grudge match for us. brad played last season with dawn and i. greg played last season with megan and ryan. but it was a great match. tight games and good rallies. we took the first one. and the second and third were close victories for them. the deciding factor in the last game? probably the three straight jump serves that brad smoked at greg and i (me shanking two of them) to put it away.

a great match with good friends.

- so i am in day five of the beard growth. it basically looks like that dirty kid in your neighborhood when you were younger. you didn’t know what that shit on his face was, but it sure as hell wasn’t clean. ours were dave and his little sister brandi that followed him around.

but i was talking with my good friend patricia about it the other night. she started with, “it will make you look older.” then she quickly transitioned into, “women like men with facial hair.” which evolved into, “some women like men with facial hair.” and made its final resting place at “i like men with facial hair.” this all transpired in the matter of seconds. kind of a snowball affect.

we both laughed about the fact that women make transitions like that all the time (although maybe not as rapid). i think its kind of a subliminal molding process for us underdeveloped members of the male gender.

- i did write a rather amusing (in my mind) blog yesterday, but the myspace gods chortled and made it so that it was lost.

- i am looking for some sort of down time. anybody got any down time? what aisle would that be at the walmart? panthers game tonight. lunch with co-workers tomorrow. comedy club tomorrow night. potentially hit the u-phonik show at the muse on saturday. and somwhere in there i have to chuck frisbees. i feel the itch.

- piece out.

- alright. so its friday, a little after 4pm, and my weekend already seems to be chocked full. so much for the downtime.

- last night i got lucky enough to have a couple of guys from work ask me to go to the panthers game. why the hell not?! let me think, the beautiful women of charlotte all roaming around tailgating, hot dogs at the park (no matter what sporting event you go to, the hot dogs are always better. unless of course you are talking about sheetz death dogs post 2am), drunk guys in either the opposing team gear to be annoying, drunk guys in YOUR teams gear that are annoying, oh yeah, and FOOTBALL! i love football season.

it used to be that back in the day(somewhere around sophomore year of college), i could care less. but something happened. i think it was the year that the steelers went to super bowl XXX. that is thirty in greek. greeks are into that hardcore shit, nothing like the barely X shit that is on skinemax at ten o’clock every night. anywho, i just really started following footabll after that. and it didn’t hurt that they came up with online fantasy football around the same time. mass produced anyway.

and now i love me some football season. so much so, that unless i am going to watch a game or to a game, i am not really leaving the house on sundays. and if you are calling me on those sundays, it better be to talk about football or fantasy football. otherwise, it may be brief.

deangelo williams, the rookie runningback out of memphis, really needs to get more carries. i wouldn’t be surprised if he has a shot at starting sometime this year. because i hate to say it, ladies, but your dreamy jake delhomme wasn’t really impressing me to the point last night that the weight of the offense isn’t going to be driven by the running game. and with that, backs get hurt. more carries for deangelo. but the first string D looked really good last night. occassional break downs, but they contained a spry daunte culpepper for the most part. love how the fans booed marcus vick.

- short day at the office today was followed by a great lunch with co-workers and a few of their family members at P.F. changs. i really need to know what the PF stands for. its probably like phillip fillmore or some other snotty sounding american shit and the chang is just there to give you the asian flavor.

my mind made this transition (no thanks to bruce willis in pulp fiction when he makes fun of his wife): mongolian beef, mongoloid beef, down syndrome beef. i am going to hell for other stuff already, and i know its wrong. but it tasted so right.

- i had a routine visit to the chiropractor this afternoon. i am feel less and less like a patient and more and more like a customer and a rub and tug joint. i get there. they collect the money. the ask me to take off my shirt in a dimly lit room and lay on my stomach. the rub an oil across my back and then use some sort of ultra sound thing with it. the electrodes. then i have five minutes of actual adjustment. and then i get dressed and go.

don’t get me wrong. i totally feel the therapuetic aspects of it. but i have always been a toucher and not a touchee. the extra E there lets you know that it wasn’t a counter point. but i feel like i am a happy ending away from being arrested. maybe the two glasses of wine with lunch didn’t help.

- reason number two (besides video games) that the youth of america are so fucking out of shape: they don’t have to walk for the bus anymore. yes, its the first day of school in charlotte. and i am hating the traffic issues all those little bastards cause.especially in the 92 school train wreck that is CMS. seriously, i followed one bus for four blocks. it made two stops. are you dry fucking me? walk your fat little ass down the street and save some gas! maybe get some exercise!

back in my day (assumes the position in rocking chair), there were days when we had to run our asses to the bus three blocks away to make it on time. and if we didn’t make it to the bus, we ran home and got on our bikes to ride our bikes to school because we knew that it would be easier than dealing with your mother yelling at you for missing the damn bus again. you people are coddling your children!

two separate points about parenting… one. why in the fuck are you people having so many children? i mean, its used to be back in the colonial days, that you had so many in order to work the farm. or you just wanted to bolster the numbers because medicine wasn’t what it was nowadays. we didn’t always have jane seymour touring the prairie vaccinating the little rug rats. but now? one or maybe two is enough. they aren’t making anymore land and people are living longer. and with the coddling, there are already enough fucked up people in the world. *raises hand* case in point.

two. are you LETTING your kids out of the house wearing these clothes?! the one bus stop left a handful of girls off. it reminded me of a scene from penitentary school girls 4 when all the hookers get off the bus. and the one or two boys that got off the bus couldn’t have been older than ten or twelve. i almost PF chang’d right there in the passenger seat.

your kids don’t have any respect for themselves and in turn don’t have any respect for others. its a sad reminder of where american society is heading.

*steps down from soap box.*

- day six of beard watch is being labelled as, “oh, so you are growing a beard?” its enough that people are catching on. they see what is to come. a little fore (five o’clock) shadowing if you will…

- did i mention that i love fanstasy football? if not only for the names that my lunatic friends come up with for their teams. you guys are poets in your own right.

- hey, you cheeky little monkeys enjoy the weekend!

piece out.

- dreary days like the overcast crap lingering over the CLT right now make it really hard to be motivated about anything. and i am not sure whether or not it is going to burn off in time to allow us to play volleyball tonight. and if it does burn off, am i going to run out of daylight? sucks.

- from an observation standpoint, tuesdays seem to be the worst days in charlotte for traffic. i am not really sure why. it doesn’t help matters when you get the rubberneckers staring at accidents like the one on 277 this morning. i mean, if there are ambulances and fire trucks and all out mayhem, i would pause to look. but with two cars not even close to seriously damaged and one cop filling out a report, keep driving. seriously. they were even pulled off to the side of the road for the most part.

and in my mind, if you have north cackilacky plates on the car, you are local. that being the case, you have no reason to not know the traffic patterns. that means you should know when lanes end or merge and not stick your soccer mom grocery getter SUV in front of my grill at the last minute. you will be flipped off. sorry.

- i made the decision to start a beard the other day. august 19th was my start date. ie. the last day i shaved clean. we will see how long i can tolerate it. fun with facial hair is one of my favorite games that i have neglected for a while. its entertaining to me in a david blaine standing in a block of ice kind of way.

- i am getting so much better at avoiding being tossed under the bus at work. all that practice at jaji, an f’d co., i guess.

- i miss playing jet moto on the original playstation. it was a fun motorcycle without wheels style racing game from back in the day. so i have a four dollar bid on it on ebay. i like the old school stuff like that. the crash bandicoot and tekken stuff. the shit the kids play these days with headsets and communities baffles me. two or three buttons and a joystick is all i needed to be entertained. (did that sound perverted?)

- i think i need a log of items i have lent out. i am missing a PS1 controller and my elizabethtown DVD for starters. the log could also be for people that have lent me stuff. i need to get back the dining accesories from the dinner party to their owners.

- subscribe today and get a free subscription!

- piece out

- so i just got into the office. dentist appointment this morning. i hate not being able to feel my mouth. its one of my biggest assests. and right now with the numbing shit kicking, it feels like i have a grapefruit stuck to the front of my face. not to mention that i have over active saliva glands. i have worked hard over the years to master it. even a decent kisser (i am told) in spite of it. but after dental work, i can’t trust my mouth and find a little moisture in the corner of my lip. so i am going to keep smacking myself until it goes away.

- i might also be drooling in direct correlation to an awesome fucking weekend. the CLT airport’s best idea ever is the cell phone lot. just pull in and wait for whoever you are picking up to call you on your cell.beautiful. especially since pook’s flight got in a little late and then he had to deal with baggage claim. so, in the sexterra and heading for a beer with one of my best friends by 4pm on friday. gorgeous weather.

and pook is looking good. he dropped a lot of weight since the last time i saw him. he is always going to be a big guy, but down around 210 instead of the 265ish i last saw him at is phenomenal.

we head back to la casa delYerg, and he loves it. i can’t blame him, i do too. have a couple of beers, and he gets settled in.

then its over to the penguin for dinner. its a must stop for first time charlotte visitors. after the penguin, everything gets a little fuzzy in the noggin. i know we hit noda. i bought a couple of pieces at mamalu that i “needed” apparently. then it was cabo for a beer or so and to intro pook to cat taylor for perspective painting work. then maybe dolce vita? a chance to see irma, lex, and the beautiful ms. molly. and met up LP and jamey. and i think we stopped by the muse to see chris and gogoPilot play a song or so. at some point in there, i realized i was drunk and needed to go home.

yep, i was drunk. that thought was confirmed to me by the bubble guts and hangover that lingered with me most of saturday afternoon. but we got up and around, filled up the sexterra and went on theYerg’s tour of charlotte. it really is a beautiful city. so much so, that while on this drive, pook developed his plan of attach for moving here.

then around 5, we hit ace custom tattoo so that margaret moose could stick pook with his two family crests on his ankles. great designs. simple. an clean, understating look.

then it was back to get cleaned up and grab some grub. up to cabo. andy and cat batted around ideas for a misfits painting. then it was over to dolce for a few.

this was an odd experience. it was the realization of a dream becoming a nightmare. something you would only see on a commercial. two guys walk into a bar and it is filled with beautiful women and no other guys. i wish i was kidding. but there were about twenty women all in a pack enjoying the nice wine tasting that dolce vita was putting on. it was really quite intimidating. especially since they stayed in one massive globulous group chatting with each other. no in.

but it was okay to leave, because we were heading across town to the comet grill to see the truckstop preachers. what a fucking show. those guys are some of best live performers i have met. and running into scott and some of the guys (i knew i would) made it all the more fun. nathan and the band put on a great show as usual.

then it was over to T street for a beer. no dice. they were four deep at the back bar and we were thirsty. so it was back up to dolce vita. yes, i am aware that i should be just paying rent there. but that was cool because we ran into rodney raines who owns the ace custom tattoo shop. he and a couple of his friends were enjoying a few bottles of wine and it was good to get to know him. weird how the tattoo community works since he knows levi, bill, and the rest of the totem tattoo family up in PA that did a lot of my previous work.

with closing time upon us, we head back to la casa. there, we set up on the front porch drinking until about 3:30am. a great idea since we got up three hours later to take andy to the airport, still a little drunk.

a great visit with a great friend is really rejuvenating after the hangovers wear off.

- i remember back in the day when bill o’reilly was still on that tabloid show “a current affair” and he covered the crap out of the jonbenet ramsey case. they brow beat us with the story back in the day. and not that i didn’t (or don’t) feel sympathy for the family and their loss, but the over coverage helped to desensitize the public and take away from the whole thing (in my mind), so i was happy when it went away.

now its back.

this karr dude is one of the creepiest looking people that i have ever seen. looking at him, you can believe when he says what he did to that poor little girl. but then something came up about his ex wife saying he wasn’t even in the same state. and the fact that the tox screen on jonbenet came up empty for drugs or alcohol and him saying he drugged her. and brutal murders are rarely an “accident,” as he put it. “i was raping this poor little girl that i drugged and she accidentally died.” is the reader’s digest version of his story. you wanted her to live through that? you sick fuck? even with all the holes in his story, this dude needs to be put away or put down. actually, if they do put him away, the inmates will make sure that he is put down.

- deep breath.

- starting to feel my lip.

- i know its a constanza-esque dream, but i really do want to be an architect. seeing something you had an impact on being built is really quite rewarding. and i think if i was on the conceptualization of that animal, i would be happy.

- “this penis party’s got to go. hey hey. ho ho.”

- piece out.

- i have full oral dexterity back from the dentist. back to being a cunning linguist.

- by the way, props goes out to my brother for helping me realize the cell phone lot at the aeropuerto. if it weren’t for laps that i was doing while waiting for him, or potential laps on the second visit for luggage, i would have never know. new things scare me like that.

- you know, breed restrictions are a real kick in the shorts for responsible dog lovers and homeowners. i was talking with pook about his pooch this weekend, a docile rotty bitch (granted she is 120 lbs., but still only a couple of years old) named lola. she is not a showgirl. and i remembered something from when i sat down with my wonderful insurance agent about my homo-ners insurance, something about breed restrictions. apparently, rothweilers, along with pit bulls, staffordshire terriers, chows, char peis, and i think dobermans, all would void my insurance policy. that is a real fucking shame. i know more people that have been bit by freaking cocker spaniels than rotties or pits.

now, those are all pretty large dogs, which wouldn’t be something i was looking for, but i still hate having someone tell me something i can and cannot do. i am sure that if pterodactyls weren’t extinct, they would void my policy too because they tear up roofs. fuckers.

- as many as 15 fools that are friends of mine are going to be migrating to the CLT on december 17th for the steelers v. panthers game. my liver is scared.

- i know it won’t fit with the decor of my bedroom, but i want to paint a real longhorn bull skull and hang it on the one wall for some reason. i have someone working to procure one on his next trip to tex-ass.

- i just zoned out for a second staring at the above two paragraphs and my eyes turned it into the pringles potato chip guy.

- i have to red up the house tonight (PA people know what i mean).

piece out.

- … sew buttons. that was always my grandmother’s response to smart mouth kids who would reply with, “so” to a statement of hers. it stuck with me.

- speaking of family… this place (myspace) gets crazier yet. my screen name is theYerg, which of course implies that i am the only Yerg out there. not so. i have siblings, rents, g-rents, a niece, a nephew, and enough cousins to sink a ship. some of which might harbor some sort of disdain for the fact that i use theYerg and not acknowledge their presence. not my fault, kin folk. i donned the nomenclature as a nickname from a fraternity brother many moons ago.

anywho.

i have recently found (actually she found me) a distant relative on this crazy page. a cousin would be the only way to say it i guess since we have traced back the lineage at least four generations in her line and five in mine to find siblings. its nuts.

we Yergs are a few and proud. kind of like the marines only without the uniforms and boot camp. not to say that a number of Yergs didn’t serve their country. they did. and do. my distant cousin included.

so raise your glass to the small world we live in!

- a hell of an outing by “can u dig it?” last night. rome, patricia, LP, and i went 4-2 and two on the evening. even had a run of four straight, which means that we of course, bookended our record with losses on the night. but i thought we did an excellent job kicking it up a notch when the need was there. a little more consistent with the serves and the passing was pretty much on point for the night. almost ready to make our run for the playoffs…

- holy schnikeys that was a storm last night. thankfully, we wrapped up VB just in time. then we all dealt with the torential downpour on the way to thomas street. there, we finished our meals just before the power went out. a couple of the lightning strikes actually made explosive sounds. not thunder jackass, the actual lightning. so we left our waiter a hefty tip since all the computers and such were down and split to check on our respective homesteads. i had to actually avoid one of my favorite things to do (drive through puddles to make a big splash) because one of the puddles put water up over the hood of the sexterra upon impact. and all was well at la casa delYerg, but i still shut down and unplugged all the staples of my life. computer and big screen.

- i think i may have to incorporate another sandwich into the daily subway rotation. i am liking that bourbon chicken sandwich. that will join my chicken/bacon NO ranch, but honey mustard, turkey on wheat, and meatball. can somebody please put in some more restaurants in this immediate vicinity?!

- so an interesting topic was broached last night before the lights went out (not sure if they went out in georgia, but the sure did at T street). what are the equivalent bases as far as the progression of affection in todays market? i read an article by (the late?) asa baber a few years back in playboys “men” section that tackled just this issue. he had said that it was odd how oral sex got bumped back a few bases to, maybe, second in some people’s books while it was part of the homerun in the older rules. and yes, i realize that some women might find it demeaning to use baseball as an analogy for such a thing, but it was a coed conversation. but here is the conclusion that we came up with last night (this a male-centric interpretation):

first base: kissing. whether you slip the tongue or not, you are still standing on first.

second base: over the pants under the shirt. the touchy feely stuff while remaining PG-13. don’t ask me how the people in the movies that that boobs were okay for 13 year olds to see, but i am not complaining. as for downstairs manuevers, you are limited to a handful of denim. and you might as well throw the old “dry humping” in there as well. grinding for the lay person. although, you might not be a lay person if you aren’t getting laid…

third base: this is where high school sex comes in. hand to skin contact all around. AND oral… for BOTH parties.

and the homerun: you are scoring a run. you are getting you some. full penetration. sexual intercourse as your high school health teacher would tell you. someone felt that the “grand slam” of course was the progression to anal.

all this of course is contigent upon the morals (not paintings on walls, those are murals) of both parties involved.

- i picked up another project at work, and i love actually being busy. the days have just been flying by this week and its awesome. the audit yesterday that i was sweating about was a piece of cake. its so cool that so many of the people that work here are from the burgh. just tear into a convo about the stillers and you are good to go.

- tonight is the first night of the new indoor season of volleyball. kind of a “keep it up” reunion with G and H. and hopefully dawn as a semi-regualr substitute. i think i saw twelve teams registered. should be good.

- i want a tattoo of a paperclip on my chest.

piece out.