-  i am listening to bob and tom on the way into work yesterday and they are discussing a story in which a lady went to the pharmacy with her four children in tow and asked her why her birth control wasn’t working.  when the pharmacist inquired as to what method she was using, the lady told her that she was drinking 8 mountain dews a day as she had been instructed.  WHAT?!  i SO wish this was made up.  with the caffeine high that she would have been riding from drinking that carbonated dog piss, exercise probably would have been the best way to burn off the energy.  sex is exercise.  hence the four kids.  the mountain dew birth control plan reads like a viscious cycle, and only because of that little glitch where a soda cannot keep you from getting pregnant.  minor detail.

the elephant in the room on this one would have to be “who in the hell is educating these people?”  i remember someone in elementary school saying that if you jumped up and down you wouldn’t get pregnant.  i think someone even added that jumping jacks were necessary.

you know, i think i have taken my intelligence for granted.  now, i am not claiming to be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but stories like this make me want to take the mensa test.  when you think about common sense, you don’t think about the people that you don’t have all that much in common with in the brains department, i guess.

-  tonight is the italian wine class at my house.  oh wait, i mean dolce vita.  damn, they should just put a cot in the back for me at this point.  it runs from 7-8:30 and sounds to be a good time.  limited seating, so if you want in, hit them at drink@dolcevitawines.com.  you can also shoot them an email to get on their list for upcoming events.  like thursdays high powered beer tasting night.  betty ford, here i come!

-  you know, it irritates me the way the vending machine guy puts the candy in the machine.  i understand the format of mixing it up and making it look pretty by spreading out the candy bars.  but dude, the only light in the machine runs down the entire right side.  not the left.  those few degrees extra cranked out by the light melts the chocolate on the candy bars on the right side of the machine.  or warms it to the point that it is intacted, but a gooey mess on the inside.  and i love me a snickers, but i have to go with the baby ruth (same ingredient save the caramel) instead because it resides on the left of the machine.  i mean come on.  think people!

-  i have to apologize to my nephew.  in talking with my buddy nails today, i realized that two years ago for xmas i could have gotten him a powder blue ladanian tomlinson jersey instead of that tommy maddox jersey.  the powder blue chargers jerseys are the epitome of cool in the world of sports jerseys.  my bad ethan.

-  wasn’t there a time when we were supposed to boycott styrofoam cups because of the CFC’s or something?  did cup companies change the ingredients?  or did we forget about the CFC’s and ozone layer?  you remember when mickey d’s came in styrofoam instead of wrappers?  yeah, i didn’t think so.

-  if shag carpets are so cool looking, why does that not apply to lawns?  i think longer grass would be the equivalent of the shag carpet.  i might plow under my grass and grow wheat just the get it higher.

piece out.