-  alright.  so i have been a slack ass and haven’t written since last wedNESday.  i hate that day of the week not being pronounced correctly.  its like nobody ever even acknowledges the D and the second E.  that is how it starts.  you ignore a D and an E.  then people in delaware don’t get their mail.  its a slippery slope, i tell ya.

-  so last week started the new season of indoor volleyball.  insanity is what volleyball should be subtitled as.  27 teams.  15 in recreational and 12 in competitive.  nuts.  that means that this guy is there from six to eleven every wednesday night.  THAT my dear friends, licks taint.  i go and work a nine hour day  doing the desk jockey thing and then go to the gym for another five hours.  that is a fourteen hour work day.  i haven’t done that kind of shit since i worked the holiday season at structure in the monroeville mall.

 but there are a ton of new faces.  and i gotta tell ya, some of them ain’t too bad on the eyes.

i am back with “keep it up” this season, but only as a substitute.  with the way the whole shoulder thing is shaking out, i feel better not having the pressure of playing every week on me.  i am just going to take it easy on the court and keep playing with my rubber band at home.  with any luck, the shoulders will come back stronger than ever.

-  what a show friday night!  will hoge entered my top five of live show moments that i have witnessed last time i saw him and he sang “lover tonight” acapella from atop the sound board.

by the way, rounding out the top five (in no particular order) are chad smith of the chili peppers playing a drum solo for five to ten minutes and whaling on the pedal while standing the whole time, a stone gossard guitar solo during black last time i saw pearl jam in charlotte, the drummer from seven mary three laughing to himself when he saw me probably a little too into a slow rendition of lucky at amos’, and bruce springsteen calling out the audience for a lack of energy in hour three of his performance a couple of years back at UNC while he was still sprinting across the stage and sliding on his knees.

back to will.  if you don’t have it, you need to go out and get yourself “the man who killed love.”  and then you need to go to willhoge.com and find out when he is playing nearest you.  the CD is good, but the man has such showmanship and general stage presence, that you have to witness it first hand.  like we did…

after a rough start to my friday (which included an hour and fifteen minute, twelve mile, drive to work.  people, its rain.  “OH MY GOD, THERE IS THIS MYSTERIOUS LIQUID FALLING FROM THE SKY!”  toolbelt.) i tied a little bit of one on for the show.  blowing off steam as it were.  probably not a good idea considering that saturday night was…

-  CarnEvil!  yes, after much hassle with permits and such on the new found NoDa location, the party revellers returned to the hawthore rd. site that its been held at.  and a hell of a show it was.

a thank you going out to ms. patricia for her wonderful hospitality, yet again, for pregame to the event.

it got a thumbs up from rome the soul man…

after that, rome, gabe, and i hoofed it the few blocks over to scene.  you can see that hollace was sporting roughly five inch heels which weren’t conducive to long walks.

the party was all outside this year and mainly housed in tents.  the back loading docks served as stages for various bands, strip teases and the like.  the main tent out front house the dance floor and lounge type areas.  off of that was a beverage tent, and next to that was the S&M tent.  i chose not to venture into that one.  i prefer my abuse privately.

you can pretty much get away with anything there as far as a costume without any hassle.  hence the reason i thought jesus would be okay.  i even found another jesus.  hell, two guys walked around in banana hammocks in the 40 degree weather as cupids or something.  i tried not to look.  the sack that it takes to sport something like that in public.

is that the halloween party trifecta?  having your picture taken with another jesus, jean luc picard, and chewbacca?  look into it.

yes, they were showing forty foot black and white porn on the wall outside that included this odd scene with two women and an electric beater.  guh.

and a special thanks goes out to rome for letting me kife some of his pics.

it was a great night all in all.  a little vino.  some dancing.  a lot of laughing.  and good friends.

-  i will take charlie batch any day of the week right now and twice on sunday.  dear cowher, please do NOT let big ben start again this week.  it is obvious that he is afraid to take a shot.  he very well could have ran that last ball in instead of flipping that bullshit incomplete pass.  so the steelers lose to the raiders and tie them with shitty records at 2-5.  disgusting.

not to be outdone, the panthers absolutely shit the bed in the second half against the cowboys last night.  i got to witness this debacle live.  and minus the drunken sasquatch that felt the need to stand for pretty much the whole game, forcing our entire section to stand for pretty much the whole game, the seats and view were awesome.  i love how they rotate the cheerleaders around the field at every quarter so that you get to see them all.  the highlight of the game was a toss up between the sax player doing the national anthem and the mascot football game at halftime.  i love watch mascots pommel each other.

so 5-9 this week for football pool and another win in the formerly flour fantasy football league.  weeee!

-  friday night is another opportunity for you to make it up to NoDa (and DOLCE VITA!) for a gallery crawl.  i am not sure how many more of them will occur with the weather.  AND saturday night is rockabilly night at dolce vita.  jem crosland and the hypertonics are playing and it is sure to be a good time.  tell ‘em theYerg sent ya!

-  so i am suffering from a sort of temporal distortion.  that is what i am calling it anyway since it sounds all scientific and is probably an accurate term.  the turning of the clocks back. is messing with my head.  to make matters worse, the power and cable went out in la casa delYerg on friday for no apparent reason.  this left my house in time limbo with all the different readings on electronics.  its 1:05 right now and my stove says its quarter of five.  its all too confusing for me.  when i woke up this morning, the sun was peering through the shades.  it was dark last week when the alarm went off.  so in my mind, i am probably about an hour late for work when my peepers open.  i had this overwhelming feeling that i was going to walk into work and everyone was going to be pissed because i was two hours late or something when i was actually on time.  of course, then when i got out of work this evening, it was dark.  i no a like a dat!  makes me wish i could crawl into bed as soon as i cross the threshold of the house.  that is poo tinky.

i guess i just need time to adjust.

piece out.

update with pictures from CarnEvil coming tonight…

-  so there was this article in the paper today,  ( http://www.charlotte.com/mld/charlotte/business/15839718.htm) that described what charlotte was going to be like in the year 2026.  and for shits and grins, they added an artists rendition of what the city skyline was going to look like. 

why is it that in any picture of the future they feel the need to put flying cars in it?  i mean seriously, why won’t people just let that dream go?  if you asked people fifty years ago, they would all say that we would be riding around in flying cars today.  and folks, you all (i was going to write y’all, but reconsidered) have enough trouble navigating a vehicle when you have the stability of some pavement under you.  i think if it came to the cars actually flying, i am hanging up my driving hat.

-  i just got an email that greg may have hurt himself playing flag football last night.  “so,” you say?  so that means i may have to play volleyball tonight.  my rubber band workouts are only a week old.  which of course in lazy jared speak means that i have done them maybe four times.  not even close to the four weeks that the doc recommended.  but i am just stupid enough to play.

-  yeah, i think my proclamation of “no heat, use a blanket” at the house may fall by the wayside.  it was absolutely penguin dick in the house when i crawled out of bed this morning.  fifty-two degrees.  so, i am more or less camping indoors with furniture.  funk that sheet.  and the heat goes on…  and the heat goes on… (sonny and cher).

-  i got the call from my sister this morning that her and conor are planning on the trek down from philly for thanksgiving.  i was giddy before when it was just my rents.  now i am uber-giddy.

-  i gotta tell ya, after the beard is incorporated into this weekend’s halloween costume, that bastard might just have to come off.  the scratchy feeling in conjuction with the always worrying about whether or not something is stuck in it (food, a fuzzy, or a booger) is enough to drive a man insane.  so i will take suggestions on how the beard is dismantled.  chops and a goatee?  sideburns and a goatee?  sideburns and the jazz patch?  just the jazz patch?  go altogether clean?  please note that the first thing to go will be the mustache portion.

-  winter beer tasting tonight at dolce vita.  fifteen smackers gets you unlimited samples of beer from 7-10:30.  go and tip irma and aundrea for their hardwork serving suds!  hey, both are extemely easy on the eyes, which helps…

piece out.

-  so i feel like i have this lump in my throat.  kinda like i am starting to get sick, but not really.  my self diagnosis says that it stems from the amount of alcohol drank this weekend.  not just the fact that i comsumed that much alcohol, but also the percentage of liquids that i ingested that were alcoholic throughout the weekend.  you see, other than a half of a pepsi on friday and another half of a pepsi on saturday.  other than that, everything liquid that crossed these lips was an alcoholic beverage from friday morning at 0830 until sunday afternoon at around 1500 hours.  guh.

-  so i woke up this morning and there was frost on the ground.  the coolest thing?  my little tin roof carport next to la casa delYerg keeps frost off the windows of the sexterra.  righteous!  no window scraping!

-  at lunch i heard the presidents of the united states singing “peaches” on the radio.  man, that took me back.

-  so, i heard from my dad today that my sister and her fiancee might be joining him and my step-mom on their trek south for turkey day!  a gobble gobble goo.  a gobble gobble gee.  i like turkey cause its good for me!  i would love to have that kind of Yerg population under my roof for a holiday dinner.

-  with me being a person of the male persuasion living alone, at what internal house termperature do i actually need to turn on the heat?  i was talking to a co-worker about this yesterday because i was thinking of just going and buying a couple of those little ceramic space heaters.  he and i agreed that even if it gets cold enough to hang meat there, its all up to me since i am paying the bills and don’t have female accompanyment to tell me how freaking cold it is in there.  blankets are cheaper than heating.  so if you plan on coming over, at least wear socks.

-  tomorrow night starts the next season of the indoor volleyball league at the (charlotte) sports connection.  i will be working it.  both like that and like that.    hahaha…

i figure that if my shoulders feel good after three or four weeks of playing with that giant rubber band, i might step back on the court and see how things pan out.

-  alright.  traffic gripe.  you are in three lanes of traffic.  its 8ish in the morning.  you are in the far right lane and see an opening developing in the center lane that would advance you much farther down the highway and allow a higher rate of speed.  the guy in front of you has the same opportunity but is hesitating.  so you begin your acceleration and make the move.  at the same time, the guy in front of you wakes up and turns his blinker on.  here is the question:  does that tool belt have the right to motherfuck me through the window with a full bird sidekick if he didn’t have the sack to make the move?!  i didn’t think so either.  that is why i smiled and waved good morning to him as i drove by.

maybe i need one of those “caution: aggressive drivers” signs mounted to the front of the sexterra.

-  keep an eye on the events tab for new and interesting things to do in the CLT.

piece out.

Oktoberfest/Winter Brew beer tasting Oct 25, $15, 7:00-10:30, unlimited samples of all these great beers- try the winter brews before they are even on the market!

so this past weekend, as you all know, was the slippery rock university homecoming.  alma mater of theYerg.  they either gave me a diploma or i was going to own the school due to squaters rights.  they gave me a diploma.  AND it doesn’t hurt that you actually pay off your diploma on the day you return to the school.  that is right.  college loans are officially paid off!

when pook pitched the idea of homecoming this year, i was a little hesitant.  but then again, we have never had a bad time together.  that is how it is when you roll with your boys.

special thanks goes out to patricia for getting up at the butt crack of dawn and agreeing to take me out to the aeropuerto.  it was 0530 when i hit her doorstep and we headed out to CLT.

please note travelers:  if you take a drink with you to the airport and do not open it before you get to the security checkpoint, it gets donated to the USO.  i thought that was pretty cool since i didn’t have a chance to open my gatorade.

i hopped my puddle jumper to cinncinati (no WKRP) and arrived there around 0815.  military time will be used throughout this post as it was a very strategerical operation.  yes, i made that word up.

at 0824 i walked into “the Pub” in the C terminal of the cincy airport.  i asked the guy if he was open.  affirmative.  i asked the guy if i could get a beer.  affirmative.  at 0825 on friday, i partook of the first official beer of the weekend.

stella artois hits the spot.

after a short delay with the weather (the weather wasn’t delayed, the plane was because of the weather.  which was on time, just not the right kind.), i ventured to pittsburgh.  touching down in the burgh around 1045.

i found pook pointing at me with a huge grin in the baggage claim area.  only thing better than friends picking you up at the airport is family picking you up at the airport.  that shit between you never goes stale and is picked right back up.

we hop in his car since he just drove the 4.5 hours out from philly and head to the rock.

the closer we get, the more shit comes back to us.  we both agree that it is quite literally “returning to the scene of a crime.”  in our cases, multiple crimes.

we zip into town and hit campus to scream obscenities out the window to the little punk bastards that are now stomping on our old stomping grounds.

after running into one of our actives at the bookstore, we grab a case of beer and head over to one of the houses to catch up with some of the boys.  its there that we talk pooh (note:  there is a pook and a pooh in this bedtime story) into not going into a one hour shift at the bookstore.  he makes 6.25 an hour there and we gave him twenty bucks NOT to go.  i hope he is a business major.

one of the coolest things about being alumni is the bonding that you can do with old profs because you are both somewhat members of the real world now.  so we had dinner and what was probably beer numbers seven through ten with dr. orvis at the brew pub on main street.

from there, it was back to the evening star.  now, for those of you not familiar with the accomodations at the evening star, its the poshest of establishments.  one of those road side motels that has a nylon coated wire lasso system for secure opening of the door.  it has beer bottle openers mounted in the bathroom, but you have to go to the front desk to borrow the one iron for all 20 rooms.  and it appears to be the prototype for home clothes iron systems since its stainless steel and has one of those fabric covered electrical wires on it.

so we head back, get cleaned up, and call our DD (thank you to josh the pledge who took care of us all weekend.  we appreciated it.  good luck, buddy!) to take us to the bar.  we pick up ms. batman on the way and meet brook out at the coney island bar.  it was just a hot dog shop when i went to school there, but now its a full on bar.  the local color was in full effect, so we only stayed for one.

then it was over to ginger hill.  this is the bar in town that now stands on the corner lot where TWO of pook’s residences at the rock used to stand.  there, we drank…

… a lot.

we met up with kmick, raine, pooh, and aikens and took our show up to cooper street where a couple of actives lived.  i would like to say it was a house, but having walls and a roof  would be the only thing that would lend me to use that word.  i forgot about how ninety percent of all housing in the burrough of slippery rock should be condemned, but its being kept standing by the thousands of dollars that the slum lords in that town make in rent every month.  so it was beer pong in a room where you didn’t want the ball to touch the ground for fear of getting the HIV.  yes, i know that HIV is not transferable from ping pong ball to beer ingestion, but you would take precautions too.  that is why that have that little cup of water there. 

and the only girl that didn’t make me feel like a pedophile for wanting to hold a conversation…

at one point i was having a conversation with a girl that asked if i was alumni.  of course.  so she followed up with inquiring as to the year i pledged.  fall of 1997.  yes, last century. then she kindly informed me that she was in sixth grade when i pledged.  can’t really hit on that girl anymore, now.  can i?

drunk and tired from being up since 0430, pook and i hitched a ride back to the evening star (tiajuana to betzler) around 0330.  that is twenty three hours of consciousness with large amounts of alcohol for the majority of them.

the next morning we had a mission.  for those of you that don’t know, our fraternity brother, jason girman had a lawnmower accident a few months ago.  walking backwards and pulling a push mower, jay stepped into a hole, lost his balance and pulled the mower back over his left foot as he fell.  at times they wanted to take his big toe, but he has persevered through a long healing process and is making his way out of the woods.

but, he was unable to make the trek to the rock from neighboring new castle, PA.  so we took the crew to him.  pook, the betzlers, kmick, brook, and i joined jay’s beautiful family for a little cookout and BSing.

i didn’t get many pictures there, but how fucking adorable is jay’s son tyler?!

special thanks to bobbi lynn for her hospitality.  after a rough healing process, i think it was good for jay to hang with some of the old heads.  felt good.

after that, we hit tiajuana to get cleaned up and met up with shane forrey and his brother in law, AJ.  they were starved, so i went into the brew pub for dinner with them while pook got cleaned up and eventually had the guys we left in new castle get him.  there, we met up with wendy again, but also with the aopi alum.  god, it was great seeing palmer.  this was about five minutes before my smooth move of the weekend.  dealing with my alcoholic tremors, my credit card slipped out of my hand and sliced right through the 2mm space in between boards on the decking.  never to be seen again.

this picture makes us look like we are in colorado or something.  some place a lot cooler than the rock anyway.

after the brew pub, it was of course back to ginger hill.  there, we were off the chain as the kids say these days.

and palmer needed to be bit on the ass…

after that, we knew that fun at ginger hill had reached its pinnacle.  so we ventured back up to the house on cooper street.  unfortunately, it was only around 2100 hours.  there was no one there to party.  just a few brothers, one of which was passed out.

AT THE URGING OF HIS ACTIVE BROTHERS, visiting alumni were asked to induldge in the age old ritual of writing on and shaving portions of the passed out.  i DID NOT partake.  i just filmed (video is too large to load onto you tube right now, but i will get that fixed.) and took pictures.

the end product…

THIS is where it ceases to be funny.  you see, he came to about a half hour later.  then he started pushing around some of his active brothers.  palmer went upstairs to see if everything was alright.  this worried me. and after about ten minutes, i went up to investigate.  when the bathroom door opened, i was pleased to see that they shaved his whole head for a not bad look and that all of the marker came off.

then this kid starts to come at me and accuse me of doing this to him.  i told him that i took no part, but i pushes me anyway.  a few of the actives grab him and i grab palmer to get the fuck out of there.  i wasn’t about to put up with some 20 year old kid and his drunken ravings.  that is NOT what i came to the rock for.

we make our way down the steps and everybody agrees that we are bailing.  we make our way out the back door and i think that shane is just jumping on my back for fun.  its actually this fucking nut job jumping me.

next thing i know, my glasses are gone and i am on the ground with this kid on top of me.  a fraternity brother.  i pull out my best rendition of UFC ground game and escape from this kid.  it would have been an illegal move, but joe rogan would have liked my eye fishhook.

now, i have never been in a fight.  i have never swung a fist at someone in anger.  just not my style.  the weirdest thing was that as fast as it all happened, i felt like i had time to think about whether or not throwing a punch was the right thing to do.  i chose not to, and i feel better for it.  a few people pulled him out of there and settled him down.  we found my specs, and bolted.  no time for that.

so it was back to the evening star for some games of floor pong and just more drinking with jen, shannon, kim, AJ, shane, pook, and we were joined my ODB.  old dirty bill brickell.

in the AM, brook drove me back down to the burgh to catch my puddle jumper to cincy and then back to the CLT. 

what a great fucking weekend.  i feel like i have grown past the kids that are now in school.  but at the same time, i feel rejuvenated by reliving old times with good friends.  thanks guys.

-  so a nice quiet dinner at creation last night, with C, turned into a really good time up at dolce vita.  orignially, i just planned on meeting patricia up there for a glass of wine, but it was apparently pumpkin carving night at dolce vita.

the winner…

it was a fun night catching up with friends and cutting up some punkins.  i wish i would have had a little bit more time to do the dolce vita pumpkin.  might have to make a second run at that for them next week.

-  how tall do you have to be to ride your ride?  C and i started talking last night about the height of dating.  no, not the pinnacle of dating, but how tall is the range of people that you would actually consider dating.  she had said that she read somewhere that height is one of the first things that a woman looks at when it comes to eyeballing a mate.  she measures up in a low to mid five foot range.  but she says she likes guys that are five ten and above.  not the starting center heights, but tall.  yes, i fit that bill.

she elaborated that the height adds an air of security, which i can understand.  i feel for the shorter guys out there.  i remember when i was in seventh grade and my bullshit was only piled about five foot four at the time.  that left a hell of a lot of women looking down on me.  in more ways than one.

so i started to think about the range that was the most Yerg compliant for dating parameters.  that answer?  between five foot three and five foot ten.  that is a pretty large range, but here is why.  for the low end of the spectrum, i can comfortably bend down to kiss since about the top foot of this frame is neck and noggin.  nothing uncomfortable.  the top end?  at five ten, the hypothetical suitor could pull off three inch heels (which is hot) and still find herself at eye level with me.  not unreasonable. 

but it is all to each their own.  although it may appear odd, people find happiness with different heights.  the four eleven woman with the six six dude.  the five four guy with the six foot lady.  if it trips your trigger, by all means, run with it.

-  in eight and a half hours, i set foot on the plane that will zoom me north for homecoming at the Rock.  the pictures and videos that may be posted here following this weekend may be distrubing.  they will probably be funny.  that will definitely include drunk people.  and they will be many.

-  you folks enjoy your weekend.  live it like its your last.  love every second.  soak in your friends.  make new acquaintances.  kiss somebody randomly.  do that shot at the bar.  you will pay for it the next day, but the night before will be nuts.  make memories you wish you could remember.  (hmmm…)

piece out.

Associated Press

ATTLEBORO, Mass. - Tag, you’re out! Officials at an elementary school south of Boston have banned kids from playing tag, touch football and any other unsupervised chase game during recess for fear they’ll get hurt and hold the school liable.

Recess is “a time when accidents can happen,” said Willett Elementary School Principal Gaylene Heppe, who approved the ban.

While there is no districtwide ban on contact sports during recess, local rules have been cropping up. Several school administrators around Attleboro, a city of about 45,000 residents, took aim at dodgeball a few years ago, saying it was exclusionary and dangerous.

Elementary schools in Cheyenne, Wyo., and Spokane, Wash., also recently banned tag during recess. A suburban Charleston, S.C., school outlawed all unsupervised contact sports.

“I think that it’s unfortunate that kids’ lives are micromanaged and there are social skills they’ll never develop on their own,” said Debbie Laferriere, who has two children at Willett, about 40 miles south of Boston. “Playing tag is just part of being a kid.”

Another Willett parent, Celeste D’Elia, said her son feels safer because of the rule. “I’ve witnessed enough near collisions,” she said.

 -  seriously people?!  what the hell is next?  are you going to send your child to school in a bubble?  first, i heard that they took out dodge ball because it was mean spirited.  then they took the jump ropes out of kids hands in gym classes so the uncoordinated kids didn’t feel bad about not being able to do it.  how about we just coddle these little bastards to they grow up to be a bunch of nancies.  double U tee eff?!

Those fantastic SG hotties are dancing at Amos’ Southend.

One of the best rock’n'roll shows you will ever wrap your eyes and ears around.   Will Hoge at the Visualite.