i remember back in the mid to late 90’s, the group, live, was tearing up the charts. and being from lancaster county i was already a big fan of them. on their secret samahdi tour, they came to pittsburgh and i got a chance to see them at the benedum theater. it was an amazing venue for a rock show. even if you had a horrible seat, you were no more than a few hundred feet away from the band on the upper level. awesome.
well, a buddy of mine at the time worked for the event staff and he had said that he would probably get a chance to meet the band. maybe even get us back stage. did i mention that i was a big fan? unfortunately, we couldn’t find him after the show and were unable to try and take advantage of the hook up.
so we drove back to the rock. reeling from the show but wishing we could have made it back stage. a couple hours after we got back, my buddy that was working the show walked into the apartment and inquired as to where we went. he said he had two passes that he could have gotten us backstage. it was a stomach punch.
it sucks to know that you could have had a great time or taken advantage of an opportunity but it then eludes you somehow.
this same feeling comes over me when a woman tells me, after the fact, that she would have slept with me. what is that?
this kind of information comes in two forms. one, the woman tells you out of spite. things didn’t work out and she knows that the fact that you didn’t sleep together would be the perfect parting shot. especially if you ended it and she is pissed. it skips gut punch and goes right to kick to the groin as far as feelings are concerned if you decided to stop seeing her because things weren’t “progressing” in that department.
the second form is after you stop seeing each other and you strike up a friendship. you are comfortable with each other and get to the point that you can talk about your sex lives or lack there of. and she just nonchalantly slips it into a conversation. “i would have had sex with you.” WHAT?! i really wish you would have told me this sooner. like, before the phrase, “would have had” needed to be uttered.
i have recently been made aware of the ladder theory. women have two ladders for men to climb. one for friends and one for people they would like to have sex with. men have one ladder because at one point in time in the relationship, the thought of having sex with the woman has crossed the man’s mind. even his good friends.
this being the case, a guy hearing that he could have been on the woman’s other ladder may cause him to slip and smack his grill on a couple of rungs.
women, if you didn’t sleep with him, he didn’t know you wanted to, and you don’t intend to remedy that situation, keep it to yourself. thanks.