a feliz navidad to all of you out there. to all of my friends and family, i want to wish you a safe and happy holiday!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!

although i never shut my windshield wipers off from the time i pulled out of the driveway at la casa delYerg until i pulled into the parking lot at la casa de mi madre, i arrived at my mother’s unscathed.
it was a little bit of a treacherous trip at times. what with the rain, the fog going through the mountains in virginia (at one point i could only see about 30 feet in front of the sexterra, but i drove through it with my foot on the gas. because that is what harry would tell cole trickle to do.), and the most daunting of obstacles… the great christmas migration of the northern white hairs.
for those of you that have been reading along for quite some time, you know that the travel patterns of retirees is one of the things that scares me most in life. that, REALLY short people, REALLY obese people, and clowns. give me the heeby geebees. not to be confused with the bee gees.
nine hours, and i made it here for leg one of theYerg’s christmas tour. hope to see some of you when it comes through your town!
happy holidays!

sitting on the couch, another commercial flashes on VH1.
shooting sizemore.
come on. this shit is just getting ridiculous.
i will admit that i have been guilty of spectating the train wreck that is flavor of love. the show in which we watch rapper, flavor flav, try to find love. the amount of things wrong with this premise is unfathomable. this guy is in his mid-fifties, has like eight kids, and is an absolute mess. so of course, this makes him a viable romantic option for overweight strippers, gold diggers, and sluts.
then there was breaking bonaduce. this follows the life of former child star danny bonaduce. you get to follow along as his marriage falls to pieces because he is a drug addict, alcoholic, roid monkey that still wants to shock people. this gets so uncomfortable at times. the fact that someone would want to expose that much of their personal life is disturbing. and its not that it is just exposing it, its that they are marketting this man’s lunacy. even during times that he was borderline suicidal, the cameras keep rolling. its a glimpse into the total self destruction of a human being.
and now… shooting sizemore. this is another actor that has been working the downward spiral for quite some time. drugs, alcohol, assault (i think). its sad.
why does society really feel the need to pull back the curtain on people’s lives like this? these people may be “celebrities,” but does that give them the right to make money off of their problems like this? nobody in the VH1 heirarchy has an ethicalo problem with putting such things on display?! sad.

alright hamster lovers, i have been benched on the couch all day with a bad case of bubble guts and have had a chance to review a few movies.
i know that somewhere along the lines (probably when it first came out and i saw it in the theater) i did a makeshift review of mission impossible 3.
it was almost good enough to let you forget that tom cruise is crazy. almost.
increasing the romantic factor in this flick helped to round it out into more of a complete story i think. the first one was “techno MI” as far as the theme was concerned and he didn’t have a love interest. just ving rhames.
in the second one, he fell for the girl by accident after hooking up with her. and then it was the whole last of the mohicans “i will find you” bullshit.
but the third one was pretty complete. minus the whole phillip seymour hoffman as the bad guy. that was tough for me to buy after he was the rich kid with the paint balloon prank in scent of a woman. or worse yet, one of the nut job tornado chasers in twister. not villian material.
it gets two out of four bananas on the monkey scale.
a history of voilence. what a great fucking movie. i rented it some time ago, but it has recently showed up again on hobo. i have always like viggo mortenson’s work. gi jane, carlito’s way, hidalgo, the perfect murder. he is a good actor.
and if you throw maria bello in there, its candy. as far as looks go, she is right up there with charlize theron i think. they kind of look alike.
a good story about a midwest guy that is a hero in a robbery but the publicity that follows may have opened up his secret past. good plot. awesome bad guy with ed harris and his butchered eye.
i was a little disgruntled with the william hurt philly portrayal, but the rest of the flick made up for it.
with the two realistic and phenomenal sex scenes (one a cheerleader outfit, one angry sex on steps) the rating should be a monkey spanking it, but its a three banana movie all the way!

hey there all you taco lovers! its time for your second big helping of jet dry tacos. the show that makes you ask, “what the hell are these two jackasses going to say next?”
we slimmed it down a bit for your viewing pleasure. and there is no more staring at my crotch throughout the show. sorry to those of you that liked it.
this week we took on gift etiquette, capitalist ploys posing as charity, the use of nicknames, and of course, women’s fashion.
please enjoy the show and keep in mind that it is you, the readers, that have the most impact on the show by keeping your questions and topics coming. relationships, pop culture, current events, moives, music, and more. whatever tickles your… well, whatever you like tickled.
here you go….

… for all the feedback that we have gotten on the first installment of “the show.” a lot of good ideas floating out there.
like we said, the first episode of the show was uncut. that means you got everything that was on the old memory stick at the end of it all. of course, it truly wasn’t the end of it all since it cut off so abruptly. but we only rambled on another two minutes or so after the camera shut off. we are going to work on tightening things up for you. tighter is better, right?
and we appreciate the tips on the technical tip. we will flood the room with light so that you can take us in in all our splendor. and the whole proximity to the camera thing shall be remedied. i had no idea that me sitting up while scott sat back would make me look like gheorghe muresan…

i love that commercial.
and i also now know that i should wear shoes all the time to cover up my monkey finger toes. and yes, LP, i will make more of an effort not to constantly adjust my junk on camera too. (i was told that it was mine and i could do what i want with it, but that i only got one, so be careful.)
we are looking to offer up your second tasty helping of jet dry tacos sometime this week, so be on the look out.

here it is. the first episode of the show. its raw and uncut. that means that we don’t as of yet have video editting capabilites and we were a little long winded. its a half hour long to be specific. but i think it could be more entertaining than some of the drivel that takes up a half hour of your time on the boob tube. unless their are actually boobs on the tube…

let us know what you think.
thanks.

i know that i gave you guys a heads up last week, but it looks like we might “film” our first “episode” of our little show tonight.  it going to be a couple of us just bullshitting over current events.  UNLESS…. the wonderful readers/viewers give us topics or questions.  so far we have one.  we would like four more in order to get the five.  so if you have something your would like theYerg and scotty’s take on, drop us a line today by leaving a comment.  social norms, sports, movies, music, relationship woes, rules for men, whatever.  you throw it out, we’ll clean it up.

our boy rome finally left his twenties behind on friday.  abandoning what was left of his youth and deciding to give it one last hurrah before he finds himself in housepants curled up with buddy and just playing suduko all night.

friends came from far and wide to help rome with this celebration.  hell, jean even flew in from california.  evan and eric came up from south cackilacky.  i drove the three miles to his house.  nuts!

so we started out at jerome’s around six thirty or seven.  i was the only one suited up at that point, but that would quickly change.  actually, the guys changed.  anyway.  the people that were in on the limo and joining for dinner slowly started to trickle in.  gabe was last pimp through the door since the limo picked him up at his place…

rome and jean looking rough suited up.

laura lu and patrica looking hot as all get out.

eric and monika dashing in the kitchen.

and everybody is automatically cooler in a limousine.  in my two rides in a limo, i have come to know this as fact.  and with a bottle of bubbly in the ride and some rap blaring, it was only a matter of time before gang signs started getting flashed and everybody looked gangsta.  note the spelling. 

jean, rome, and gabe in the back.

LP smiling while i throw out the gas face.  yeah, i said it.  if you don’t know third bass, you shouldn’t be here!

evan and eric posing as hard asses.

sue and i both are tough.

patty snow puckering up.

too cool to keep the eyes open for j-rod and LP.  jean hanging between them.

dinner at havana was great.  israel and his friend, eric, (yes, there were two erics and two phonetic jareds.) lent to interesting conversation throughout the meal.  we tackled all the big hitters for dining conversation.  politics and religion.  they are usually no-no’s, but for some reason, i have been game on such debates lately.

after a wonderful meal, we piled back into the limo.  it was obvious that we ate some serious grub since we scraped like a mo-hunky leaving the restaurant.  then it was off to loft 1523 to embibe some tasty libations and enjoy the company of yet more comrades.  (that was, like, a three dollar sentence with all those fifty cent words.  you liked that huh?)

loft is a decent place to just kick back a few in a more sofisticated setting.

brian wants you…

rome with the nieghbors, mark and sherrill.

jason snead and i.  chillin’.

brian and sherrill.

leigh, in from out of town with her friend whose name escapes my memory.  seriously, that is what it said on her driver’s license.

when they were looking to close down and kick us out of the bar, a handful of us decided to kick it back to where it all started… jerome’s house.

gabe, hanging late night.

ike throwing out the eyebrow for the intellectual look.  either that, or he was wasted and was over compensating only the one eye to keep open.

time stamp on the picture of jarod drinking what was more than likely his last beer for the night?  roughly 4am.

evan and buddy chilling late night.  apparently, i am having trouble centering people into the pictures.

rome getting his birthday kiss on the cheek.

i took a little time to sober the hell up so that i could navigate back to la casa delYerg.  but i felt a little out of sorts when the clock on the nightstand read five fifteen.  so i called jerome, and the same anamoly was occurring at his house.

i didn’t awaken from my slumber on saturday until about three thirty in the PM.  from what i have heard of other participants, i was one of the early risers.  the guy that was thirty years and one day old was rumored to not rise until the sevenish range.  full recovery for some didn’t take place until monday.  that is a one hell of a time.

thanks to all that organized, it was much appreciated.  happy birthday, brother.

what do you get when you cross a mild mannered NoDa wine bar, a couple of good drink specials, a handful of out going people, and platinum J in all his karaoke splendor?  one hell of a time at dolce vita on thursday, that’s what.

we kicked off around eight or eight thirty after getting all the equipment set up.  and from there, it just took off.  platinum is the ideal guy for running a karaoke night.  not afraid to call people out at all.  and he has a great set up with a decent list of tunes for you to belt out if you are willing.  and sometimes, even if you aren’t willing.  i know i got called out once or twice for “platinum’s picks” a couple of times.  if there was nobody signed up to sing, J would keep things rolling by picking a song of his choice followed by a singer of his choice.  good times.

and it was nice to catch up with my buddy graham.  he moved to NYC last year and we lost touch for the most part since then.  but i slapped him with an email last week and he just happened to be breezing through the CLT for business.

scott and melissa…

scotty belting out another tune.  more than likely, “okie from muskogee”…

 platinum J standing by in amazement as i sound exactly like scott weiland for “interstate love song”…

alexis with the scarf around the mic for what turned out to be a spoken word version of “sweet child o mine”… 

molly kate with bryan…

alexis on a duet with polly… 

bryan and mark belting one out…

great googily moogily.  molly and irma. 

straight cheese from alexis…

hanging…

don’t remember her name, but she took it pretty seriously…

so, it was a good night at DV.  talk was going around at the end of the night to crank up some more karaoke sometime in january, so stay tuned.  you don’t want to miss out twice.