so a picture of me and AD along with credell coleman made it to the front of the “celebrations” section of the charlotte observer yesterday. so now, a slew of emails, texts, and phone calls. the attention is nice, i won’t lie. but it is a little overwhelming. i have always tried to keep myself pretty grounded and not get excited about stuff like this. for crying out loud, its section H of the paper. that mean they had to get through A-G first. anyway, i am glad that the event is getting good publicity. you can still buy tickets or make a donation!
oh cruel fate, why do you mock me so?!
for those of you that know me, you know that one of the mainstays in my constantly rotating top five bands list is seven mary three. they are a fantastic rock band that got unfairly type cast in with all the rest of the grunge wanna be’s in the mid-90’s because of the raw sound of their song, “cumbersome.” after that, everybody just chalked them up with the rest of the bands trying to copy the seattle sound but not be from seattle. of course if all those ass clown music critics would have listened to the rest of the album or picked up the amazing sophomore effort by the guys, they would have known that the band was more of a southern rock revival (nothing like the ghetto revival that jerk off on “the white rapper show” is doing) type of deal.
but, the cool side of them not catching on is that you get to see them at more intimate venues like amos’ southend. i have personally seen them there twice and every they freaking rocked. and lets just say that i have been hitting their website once a month to find out when the hell they were coming to charlotte again.
then fate felt i needed a swift kick to the groin this morning (worse than driving a hyundai instead of a MINI). they are coming to charlotte… and playing amos’ the same night as the guys and dolls charity auction. motherbitchshitassmonkeypissdickfrick!
or however the hell you spell it. either way, its not spellled M-I-N-I.
so i took my cooper S (still trying to come up with a Yerg-style name for it) to the dealership this morning to get the hood scoop changed from carbon fiber to chrome, get a chip in my windshield fixed, and get all of my windows tinted. it will hopefully take some of the people from the “its so cute” column to the “that is badass” column of the tabulations that i am keeping of car comments.
i really like how MINI (by the way, they will actually tell you that the name was changed in like 1994 OFFICIALLY from mini to MINI. i am fine with that, but i hate pressing the shift key to type it) wants you to really love your vehicle.
today’s tactic? they gave me a fucking used hyundai sonata as my loaner while they work on it. not only is it used but it smells. it smells like that carpet deoderizing powder shit that you used to sprinkle on the carpet before vacuuming in college to try and mask the smell of vomit a little more. two things on that: one, you could always still smell the hint of vomit lingering. two, how big of a sham is that shit? its only in your carpet for like ten minutes before it gets sucked into your vacuum and then thrown away. and don’t try and tell me that shit clings to the fibers or something.
and when the guy from the company giving me the loaner answered my inquiry as to what kind of vehicle i was getting, he said it was a hyundai sonata V6. like the fact that its a V6 is supposed to make me feel better about having to drive around a hyundai all day instead of my MINI? “gosh sir, if i like the hyundai, can i just trade you straight up for my MINI?!” get a freaking clue.
i want my MINI back. NOW!
i cannot help but laugh my ass off every time i see this commercial. almost makes me want to have little richard follow me around for the day and add commentary to my life…
i seriously think that there is some sort of electromagnetic field that is surrounding me lately and disrupting all the electronic equipment in my life. for the last week i have had to play with the phase on my work monitor because i continuously see halos around all the icon and letters on my screen. it makes me a little nauseous.
last night we filmed another excellent episode for jet dry tacos. but of course between my piece of shit desktop computer, the lack of ability to figure how other people can connect to my wireless in the house, and the files that we burnt to CD from my camera being corrupted, there is no episode to publish today. and i cannot find my damn CD to install my camera’s software onto my laptop. its a banner day.
maybe with the constant use of electronics (ipod, cell phone, desktop at work, desktop at home, laptop at home, microwave, television, iron, DVD player, cable box, etc.) my body has some sort of polarity issues with the electromagnetic field surrounding me. maybe i need to stick a fork in an electric outlet to reboot that. i will let you know how it works out.
so i may or may not have told you that i wanted to incorportate disc golfing into my date package for the upcoming guys and dolls auction. well, i want to.
so last friday when i went on my little mission of mercy, one of my stops was infiniti’s end over off of independence. its basically a hippie type store where they happen to sell disc golf supplies. lots of tie dye. lost of “water pipes” for “tobacco” smoking. not really a place where i, dressed from work still, don’t look like a narc. so needless to say, they were less than receptive to my request for a contribution to my date package. but i left them the information for the owner to get back to me.
monday, no dice. no word. so today, i figured that i would go online to innova discs to look for other distributors in the area that might be able to help me out. fiddlestix. they are all the “box stores” like dicks and sports authority. places where no one really has the authority (sports or otherwise) to make a decision as far as a charitable donation.
so i ponder. why the hell not just call innova direct since they are technically a local business located right across the border in rock hill, south cackilacky?! so i do. and i ask for the promotions department, not knowing if they even have one.
a few minutes later i get on the phone with Dave. i explain to Dave the premise of the event and tell him that most people put together “ball golf” packages in their dates. i am not a “ball golfer” i am a disc golfer. won him right there. so Dave agrees to put together a nice starter set that would include several discs, a bag, a water bottle, and anythign else he could think of to get someone started. AWESOME!
then through emails with scotty, it came about that in the past that people have tossed things into the audience to get crowd participation going a little bit on the whole thing. mini discs? Dave calls me back two minutes later to confirm my ship to address. i ask, and he chucks in the mini discs as well. talk about a cool ass company coming through for someone on a whim. gives me that warm fuzzy feeling.
so as far as the grand scheme of things is concerned with the whole dating portion of my life, its so open ended right now its not even funny. with the whole CFF guys and dolls auction thing going on in the background, the possibilties are pretty much endless. of course, there is always the possibility that some geriatric lady that saves all her change throughout the year only to come in and bid on some strapping young buck, not unlike myself, to be her boy toy. hey, i have to keep the worst case scenarios in mind here. but there is always the outside chance that i meet a girl. or not just A girl, but THE girl. talk about delusions of grandeur.
the point is, that for the most part, i have pretty much been ignoring my dating life. not really one of the ridiculously self-imposed dating hiatuses that i have been foolish enough to declare in the past, but more of a passive approach. as the people at the MINI dealership would say, “just motoring.”
but lately, a fair amount of my friends have been pairing off. everywhere i turn there is someone starting a relationship, rekindling a flame, whatever. it just seems that way. and with entirely too much time on my hands yesterday, it left my mind to wander.
that in turn leads me to blundering around the internet. i mean, history tells me that i may be come across a little more appealing on the interweb. true or not, it feels that way sometimes. its not that i am not just as witty in person, i am just losing something in translation sometimes it seems.
and a few of my friends have found success in internet dating. some more recently. this brings me back to my old stomping grounds. match.com. i was a hefty user when i moved to the CLT some six years ago. i then decided it was all a sham and that the company was sending me messages of women that showed a hint of interest in order to keep getting their membership fee from me. that combined with the fact that there is something wrong with the masses of women that put up a profile on a dating site, but have no desire to be approached by men. odd really.
but i found myself browsing there again yesterday. i have a profile with no picture and just a postage stamp of info about me. i saw a lot of the same women that were on there years ago. and i see a handful of women that i know in real life. or women that i just see around. its weird (substitute the word sad, sick, or creepy if you like) to see people out and offline that you know look for love and such online. especially when i have a somewhat photographic memory for that type of thing.
i don’t know. just rambling at this point.
why do i continue to actively look for something/someone? my life is pretty decent. i have fun. i have great friends. i get laid on rare occasions (arbor day usually). so why do i think i keep seeing unicorns as far as a women in my life might be concerned? hey, sick bastard, that was a mythological reference, not a beastiality thing. damn.
passive dating. yep. that is the key to my success. or lack there of depending on how you want to look at it.
so last night was the kickoff party at madison’s for the cystic fibrosis guys and dolls charity auction, which i have volunteered to be a part of. that is right, theYerg is going to be on the live auction block on february 17th at the charlotte covention center.
scary?
yes.
fun?
damn skippy.
its an excellent event that is in its seventh year. and it seems to just keep getting better.
as a fan of my surrounding neighborhoods and friend’s businesses, i am trying to put together a decent date package that reflects who i am. a little vino at dolce vita, some lunch at the penguin, maybe a little disc golfing, a great time for her and her friends at potion for a make up party, and just some generally cool stuff.
so what am i worth? what will i go for?
the last time that i was involved in a charity bachelor auction was in college for the fraternity. it wasn’t exactly a gala event or anything. i think i went for $15 bucks. talk about an ego boost. i am hoping to at least double that this time around.
but last night at the kickoff party, i was caught a little off guard as far as the attention that i was going to garner for being one of the bachelors. one girl told me that i should bring in at least eight thousand dollars. uh, okay. half that would be nuts. a quarter of that would be nice.
and then there was the lady that may have subtly said that she would paint me naked. wow. does that mean she wanted me to pose nude? wanted me to pose while she was nude? or wanted to paint my naked body? either way, i about choked on my pinot noir.
this is going to be fun.
oh, and by the way, if you would like to make a donation to a wonderful organization, when you click on the link that i put in above, look for the donation link at the bottom of the page. and if you feel so inclined, throw my name in the “additional info” field of the form. every little bit helps. thanks.
