guess what, i ain’t got no stinking treats! THAT my dear friends is why my porch light is currently off. why do you ask am i so boo humbug (you like the holiday play on phrases, don’t you?) about halloween and the trick or treaters?

well, last year was my first year in a single family dwelling as a homeowner. i was super stoked about the little buggers coming to the door and giving them a nice fun size piece of chocolately goodness.

now, granted, i do not live in the best neighborhood in the world. but its not exactly south central either. but my light went out last year after full grown men, physically imposing to a gentleman like myself, without costumes on, came to my door with pillow cases asking for candy. and when i gave it to them in what was not quite fear, but not even close to being elation, they asked for two pieces. or they commented on the my candy choice. you don’t like snickers and milky way? tough shit, that is what i like and i am looking forward to the leftovers.

so i curled up on the couch in sweats tonight. shut off the porch lights. watching some tube. i hear them shuffle and giggle wired on sugar walking across my porch. they ring the bell. i sit still. they ring again. dude, the porch light is off. they open the storm door knock and ring the bell. now i have to explain that i have no candy. i am the crotchety old dude. oh well.

no candy here….