i just got done watching “into the wild,” the story of chris mccandless. he totally dropped off the grid in pursuit of happiness without worldly belongings in the early 90s. it was amazing how enlightened he was, but at the same time, a little scary with the passion that he chased it. eventually, he became trapped in the wild and died.
it leaves me sitting here and wondering a few different things…
what if i dropped out of society like that? i would do it differently maybe. sell everything i owned and lived off of that. i know there is a sizeable handful of people that would miss me. and that i would miss. but there has to be some sort of cleansing that comes with that kind of journey. an empowerment. to an extent, i can say that i have made that kind of journey with the move that i made down here to charlotte seven years ago. i left a lot of people that i love back in pennsylvania. a few of those relationships have washed away in the distance i feel at times. other times, i can feel the distance pulling us closer and realizing the time we spend together is so sacred.
could i survive on my own out in the wild like that? i highly doubt that. i would probably give myself two weeks out in the wild. nevermind the fact that even a short time with nothing but my thoughts to keep me company and i would go stir crazy inside my head. its odd how sometimes i need to be left alone in order to clear my head and other times i need the interaction so that i can stop what goes on in my mind.
i know i wouldn’t be able to let go of the technology. sitting here and pounding this blog out on the keyboard of my laptop with a wifi connection, i am surrounded by three remotes, an ipod, and my cell phone. all within arms length.
the other thing that i am curious about is how i will be remembered. i know it sounds morbid, but if i were to pass, what thoughts and feelings would people be left with. i know that recent philanthropic pursuits have left me with a warmer feeling in my heart with the impression that i have left on the world. but a realistic look at things leads me to believe that it would just be a bunch of drinking stories with memories that are diluted by the very alcohol that fueled them. maybe there would be some funny stories or a handful of stupid blogs that nobody ever read on here and other online pursuits.
i don’t know. you should really see the movie.