… thou doth protesteth too much.
so, yesterday afternoon outside the BofA building downtown there was a group of protesters that were upset, i believe, with the BofA acquisition of a company that didn’t have the greenest of histories. as a matter of fact the company was involved with mountain top mining for coal. ouch. not pretty.
there was about a dozen of these protesters with there well crafted, obviously visited kinkos for the larger posters, banners and posters which displayed their discontent. there was one guy i think that probably came in at the last minute with his poster board and sharpie. he must have been trying to hook up with one of the protesters. i am half tempted to just lump them into a pachouli stinking granola eating tree huggers, but that wouldn’t be fair. some of them looked like they partook of more than just granola…
here was (one of) the part(s) that irritated me… these people were screaming at people just walking out of the building for their lunch break. innocent cube dwellers like myself. dude comes out of his hole to get some fresh air on a nice day. wants to just readjust his eyes beyond his computer screen. he walks out the door and… “you are the cause of global warming!” what the fuck?!
this comes back to one of the major problems with people who protest. they don’t research. maybe one of the pack does. he feeds them all the quaint little slogans and gives them pamphlets to hand out. the rest of the people are just people that he smokes pot with.
and i am all for being heard. i think that these freedoms are what makes this country great. the right to assemble peacefully. it even sounds nice. makes you feel like your government has your back.
here is the thing though. there really aren’t any governments anymore. yeah, those fat pudgy bastards in washington can sit there and make laws all the live long day, but what does it really amount to? not much without some sort of corporate backing. because, let’s be honest, corporations are what rule the world anymore.
think i am wrong? wait for the summer olympics.
all the assaulting of poor people who went through some sort of rigor or trauma or had a special achievement so that they could be one of the torchbearers for the olympics isn’t doing a thing. again, like the poor guy walking out of his office, your statement is misdirected. you want to put a stop to the olympics because of the social injustices in china? talk to coca-cola. talk to mcdonald’s. talk to chevrolet. those are the ones that have the clout. not your senator. and certainly not some poor lady or guy that felt honored to carry a torch that has been a symbol of peace and sportsmanship longer than you have been sucking air.
oh, and by the way, what did you do before assaulting that torchbearer? i mean, you have had eight years or so to prepare your protest and the best you could come up with is, “i think i will knock the torch out of the hands of somebody when they run close to me. yeah, that will stop what is going on in china.”
another hot button for me lately is the people protesting the building of coal fired power plants. yes, there are alternative power generating sources out there. you can power your calculator with a solar panel. now lets think of the size of a solar panel that is going to generate enough power to fulfill the needs of a city the size of maybe charlotte, NC. and you there with the picket sign, do you have solar panels on your house? do you have a windmill in your backyard to generate electricity? no? hmmm…
if you read a little more, you would find out that what these power companies are doing is actually putting in units that are at least ten times cleaner than the ones that are currently powering your home thanks to the standards that are being set for carbon capture. we could go nuclear. but you would protest that too huh? because with all the smart people on this case, none of them have fingered out that whole crazy nuclear thing since three mile island huh? seriously people.
oh, and by the way, these greedy power companies are just trying to keep you from dealing with same style rolling blackouts that california went through. (side note: i am all for cutting down on emission with hybrid cars. but do you know where your electric cars are going to be powered? that is right, off the power grid provided by your local power plant.)
and then there is the absolutely ridiculous. the guy here in charlotte that doesn’t want the city to build a baseball stadium for the triple A team because he thinks it is short sighted and we could get a major league team. this guy has the legal system involved which means his stupidity is costing me tax dollars.
let us take a snap shot of charlotte sports over the last ten years. you have a minor league baseball team that plays in rock hill, SC… the CHARLOTTE knights. must be a reason they play down there. hmm. then you had the charlotte hornets. they are in new orleans. the charlotte sting? folded. the charlotte bobcats? continually struggling and i am not quite sure, but they are not really setting attendance records. the carolina panthers? by midseason, you can you can usually get tickets for two dollars and a jawbreaker. the charlotte checkers? okay little hockey club.
and so you want to bring a major league baseball team to THIS town. dude, shut up and let the knights have their stadium so that i can drive less than forty five minutes to have a beer and a dog at a ballgame.
people, i have nothing wrong with fighting for a cause. but please realize your audience. i am not heartless and i am both social and environmental conscious. but i have never seen a whale in real life. i have seen polar bears at the zoo, on discovery channel, and animated in coke commercials. show me how it impacts my life. show me something that i can feel either empathetic or sympathetic for. cancer research, domestic violence, education, helping disabled veterans, assisting physically or mentally challenged people, AIDS research, all causes i have gotten behind in the past and will do so again. know your stuff before you take up my time…

so i have commented a few times on various internet pursuits about my inability to catch up on the cleaning of la casa delYerg. its pretty much started since the transplant bunny day which destroyed the joint. i still keep finding mini bottles throughout the house. and practically every piece of flatware, tableware, stemware, and underwear (okay maybe not the drawers) was dirty and in the kitchen. and to make matters worse, the dishwasher couldn’t really handle it. i washed the same load of dishes four times and they just wouldn’t come clean! everything just kept having these spots all over them. the irony? i just started using jet dry as a rinsing agent. for those not in the know, its ironic because i also take part in a website called jetdrytacos.com. but after some passing time, the stench eminating from the ktichen started to become unbearable.
so last night i take all the uncooperative dishes out of the dishwasher, take apart everything that i can without breaking something and cleaned some of the pieces. the new load of dishes went in and came out without a hitch. i know, my handyman talents are insane. so now my house doesn’t stink and i have my kitchen back… totally over my three week easter kitchen hangover.
so tonight, i decide to cook myself a gourmet dinner. you know, fish sticks and instant alfredo noodles. mmm, mmm good. i fire up the old oven to the preheat temperature. another nasty smell. this time its of the inflamed genre. at this point, you should have picked up on the fact that i don’t cook a lot what with the tongue in cheek comment about the gourmet fish sticks. so, inside my oven was the last place that i looked after easter. easter that was over two weeks ago. so when i found ted and rachael’s egg souffle’ in the oven, i was more than a little surprised.
the fun part was that i had the windows open to air out the kitchen a little bit. forgetting that, my neighbors probably heard me when i shouted i was glad my fucking fish sticks were finally done. yes, i live alone and talk/sing/shout to myself…
lets just say that the next shindig at la casa delYerg shall be an outdoor only gig. that is, if i can find someone with mowing tractor and a bailer…

* have you seen the video for rosanna by toto? That drummer isn’t that good looking of a guy I don’t think. How in the hell could he get rosanna arquette? And I wonder how she feels about the song? Do you think she gets all nostalgic for the times when she was hanging with him and the other guys from toto? Or do you think she is more along the lines of, “god, I am glad I got out of that, I was too good for that guy and it is repeatedly made obvious by the obsession he expresses in this song…”?

* I just got a new hairscut yesterday. My girl Laura at the Bang! Bang! Salon did me up right. She cut my hair for the first time about three months ago. Before that, I hadn’t been in a barber’s chair in about eleven years.
See, I had learned, like most guys do, to use a set of clippers in college. We all pretty much had the same haircut, so it was easy for a few of us to learn how to do it for each other. You could do it yourself, but it’s just hard to get the back just with that gradual fade effect. But I learned the back of my noggin and how to use a hand mirror in conjunction with a wall mirror in order to get it right.
So after the beards beCAUSE campaign finished up and I had that mop kicking, it seemed only natural to go to Laura since she kicked ass at the finale even with trimming the facial hair of some of our growers.
I gotta tell you, it was a real throwback for me. When I was growing up, I got haircuts at one of two places. I either went to Sue at the Manor Barbershop where I take my allowance along and go next door to Smitty’s hobby shop for a new matchbox car.
Or when I was at my dad’s house and we went out to visit my grandmother (mi-mi yerg) she would cut my hair. Meem had her own shop in the front room of their farmhouse where she would do the local women’s hair. Betty’s beauty shop. All these older women with their boufants and stuff sitting under the hair dryers that jas and I would use like space ships. They would sit there and gossip all afternoon.
Meem had that sink with the lip on it to rest your neck where she would wash your hair before cutting it. She always scrubbed my head so hard with her fingernails. And then she would proceed to cut your hair the way she wanted. Not the style that you walked in there with, but the style she looked good on you. She would part my hair on the opposite side sometimes, totally going against my cowlicks. And if she happen to cut your ear with the scissors, it must have been your fault for moving.
But when laura cut my hair for the first time, I got the wash treatment as well. It just made me think back to all those times in meem’s chair. Kinda sad. Especially since meem has gotten older. She isn’t the same women that she once was. Alzheimer’s. and they coverted her old shop into a first floor bedroom. So that is gone…

* I am so stoked that stone temple pilots are getting back together! I am a huge grunge fan. Never really got away from the music of the early to mid 90’s since it was such a growth period for me. Seriously, like, seven or eight inches. Taller. But I wasn’t a big concert goer, so when bands like this get back together, it give me a second chance. With any luck, the deleo’s won’t get sick of weiland before they make it to charlotte for the rumored august 17th show. Now if we could just resurrect kurt and layne, I could see ALL my bands from that time.

* So, last night after seeing the drunk lugnuts play a set at mac’s speed shop, I was on my way home and decided to stop in for one last glass of wine at dolce vita. The crowd from their half off glass of wine night (which seems to be growing in popularity) had kind of died out at little by 11, so it was nice and low key. After ordering a tasty montepulciano, I turned and saw a familiar face. Here is the odd part. I had never seen that face before… not in person. This young lady and I became acquainted a few years ago (we later determined it must have been in 2004) on myspace.com, but never met in person. We maybe batted around the idea a few times, but neither of us were aggressive about it. It was weird being in conversations with her and other people and knowing the answers to all the questions others asked of her because of our online endeavors. All in all, it was a pleasant surprise.
It makes you wonder, how many friends do you have out there in the virtual world that you have never physically met? What is holding you back from meeting them?

ah, the ultimate day of the year for the jokers out there! the day of the year that you can lie through your teeth as long as you finalize your conversation with, “april fools!” fantastic!
my step mom sal tries to get me every year. she has in past years only because she practices the number one rule in pulling off april fool’s gags… you gotta get ‘em early. catch them off guard. people are still unsuspecting until you get busted the first time.
i pulled off or helped pull off a few good ones today. first and foremost, i appreciate all of you that expressed concern and sadness toward my declared exodus back above the mason-dixon line. i posted in the status of both my facebook and myspace pages that i had enough and that i was moving back to pennsylvania. april fool’s my friends. i am not going anywhere. the CLT cannot get rid of me that easily and like one friend said, i still have a lot to do in this town…
i got a few co-workers with the quick hit by walking in their office/cubicle and telling them that it was nice working with them, but this was going to be my last day. a few priceless looks came from that one…
but the best one of the day was a coordinated effort with my buddy brian tuthill at work. my friend sherron is more than just a little gullible and i love her to pieces for it. b-hill and i discussed it all last night and coordinated a quick plan. we seriously came up with this idea in about five minutes. i had to take the MINI into the shop this morning to get the dent taken out of the front fender, but sherron didn’t know that, so that left us a perfect opening for a crazy reason for why i was not at work.
i set the alarm on my phone to call b-hill around 715am. the message, paraphrased, went something like this…
“hey there brian. i am not even sure how to go about this. this is so freaking embarassing. i need your help. i cannot call my family. i cannot call any of my other friends. my god, this is so embarassing. i was driving back from the bar last night after having a few and i saw this girl that i thought was in distress on the side of the road. i picked her up and next thing i know there are cop cars everywhere. i don’t remember discussing anything about price, but they are charging me with soliciting a prostitute. i have been here all night. i just need your help getting bail and keeping this quiet at the office. god this embarassing. help me out if you can brian…”
i had the shaky voice and everything. it was a good performance if i do say so. so brian plays this for sherron telling her he got it this morning. she doubts the authenticity of the call, but he immediately comes right back over the top with, “i called the courthouse and am going down to get him at 930 since they impounded his car.” the awesome part was that b-hill had a dentist appointment at 930 that he HAD to leave for.
she bought it. hook, line, and sinker. she even came into his cube a few times to talk to B about how crazy it was and how worried she was. so when i got into the office a few minutes before B did from his dentist appointment, i tried to lay low. she asked where i was and i old her that i wasn’t allowed to talk about the case.
when we finally let the cat out of the bag, she was floored. absolutely hysterical. best april fool’s i have participated in in a long time…