- so, its my friday off. and i figured i would finally put an end to my brother calling me an idiot and a loser and go see iron man. yes, jas, you were right. it was an awesome freaking movie. i really like robert downey jr. as an actor. this wasn’t always the case. when did it turn? when did the seemingly rehab regular go from the annoying sidekick in back to school to the actor he is today? i am going to go out on a limb and say that was when he walked around an empty mansion and lip synced for elton john in the “i want love” video. seriously. everything he did after that was gold. kiss kiss bang bang was an excellent flick. val kilmer may have made the movie, but not without downey jr.
but i digress. loved iron man. i love how they let the suit evolve from the cave and then through testing and into the kickass final product. favorite parts of the movie: when he just gets done nailing the chick from vanity fair (when did their journalists become the end all be all of investigative reporting? am i missing something?) and his excuse for being late was that he was “doing a piece for vanity fair.” i love that the stan lee cameos are getting more and more fun. being mistaken for hugh hefner at the charity event was priceless. speaking of cameos, did anyone else pick up on the first terrorist ass that he kicks in the cave? that is right. tom morello, guitarist for rage against the machine. and i was thoroughly impressed with the job that jon favreau did with the whole film. solid directing. he has come a long way since swingers.

- this week, the comedic world lost a great. the passing of george carlin was tragic and surprising. people die. that is the rules. but here is what bugged me about it. i was reading one of those memorial blogs on a website that talked about what carlin had done in the way of paving the way for comedians to come that use what they call “blue” or somewhat offensive language. it being a blog, people had the opportunity to comment and the majority did so by giving their makeshift online condolences in agreement with carlin status in comedic history.
but then there was one guy. there is always one guy. he didn’t agree with the writer’s take and took the opportunity to take shots at carlin’s style, his impact on culture, the content of his sets, whatever. seriously?
this being a blog and an opportunity for me to pretty much use this medium for me to vomit whatever ideas that i might have through the keyboard and onto the screen, i can appreciate the right that someone has to speak their mind. but have we come so far as an oblivious culture that nothing is sacred anymore? i mean, taking what could in essence be called a posthumous tribute to a public figure and demeaning that person by voicing your displeasure with their craft? by the way, as i type this, HBO just ran a tribute commercial for carlin. but back to my point. should the social norms that we all practice in real life not carry over to the virtual world? i mean, there is no way in hell that i would go to an acquaintance’s grandmother’s funeral and say, “you know what, you guys were talking about how good her homemade apple pie was. i had it once and i thought it was dry and that it sucked.” i think that the internet and its anonymity that it gives “users” has allowed them to take away the accountibility that goes along with an opinion. yet if some public figure state some sort of opinion on something that might actually be relevant to society, we crucify them for being insensitive. matter of fact, someone might be offended that i used the word crucify there. oh well. but guess what? i understand that i am accountible for it.

- and lastly, i have a dating tip for you all. actually more along the lines of a life tip. we are all adults here right? right? so let us please use grown up language. if you feel the need to use the restroom, go. if you feel the need to tell me that is where you are going, please do NOT feel the need to use words like tinkle or teetee or piddle or potty or an y other colloquialism that your mother told you was cute when you went to the bathroom as a four year old. seriously people. the restroom, the women’s room, the men’s room, or the lavatory facility if you want to go super formal. but for the love of all that is holy, not the little boy’s or little girl’s room. if i am on a date and a woman excuses herself to the little girl’s room, i am going to be curious as to whether she needs a boost to wash her hands…

yeah… sing it axel…
so, i am on the fence about whether or not i want to get something to nosh on for breakfast this morning. i had a piece of banana bread that i got from the smoothie joint yesterday already at my desk, and i could deal with water until lunch. but then b-hill and ricka talked me into venturing across the street for something else. fine by me, i got my mouth all ready for a toasted honey wheat bagel with a strawberry schmear from einstein brothers BAGELS. yes, i put BAGELS in capital letters for a reason. the line wasn’t that bad for 0730 at all. four or five people waiting for food and only one guy in line ahead of me. so i grab nantucket nectar big cran juice and wait to order my delicious bagel behind the guy in front of me. now, let us keep in mind, dear friends, that there is quite a legible and large board that is hung right on the wall behind the registers… that… has… words on it! but what could they be?! it looks as though they are words that describe the food that they sell there! sacre bleu! it cannot be! but. but. but that would make it easy to order the food that they sell there. why ever would they do this?! oh, i think i have it figured out…
maybe it is so that i would not have to endure questions that the guy in front of me was going to ask! do you sell bagels by the dozen? but of course! do you have flavors of bagels that i can intermingle? but of course! but how will i know what these flavors are? well sir, i can tell you or you can read them off the labels that are on the baskets holding them. can i buy some of your delicious spread in, say, a resealable container to accompany these dozen bagels? my god, yes! my god, this must be my first time in a BAGEL shop. thank you so much for being patient and answering my absolutely stupid questions that are scrawled out in such an organized and legible fashion on that ginormous board that is hanging not four feet from your head! freaking putz.
not feeling as though my already limited patience was going to be able to handle his ignorance, i put back the juice and walked across the hall for a smoothie. the wonderful lady there had it blended and i was out of there before that putz even made it the ten additional feet to the register. i would have brained him with a bottle cranberry juice if i had to wait for him…
and listen, i know i don’t live in the best of neighborhoods. and since there might be the outside chance that someone might steal or i might lose my wallet, i appreciate someone trying to protect my finances. but i really gotta tell you. if you are going to make me come into your store to verify that i didn’t steal my credit card, you are only going to piss me off. i mean, doesn’t that defeat the entire purpose of having those convenient little pay at the pump card readers there? nevermind the fact that now i have to roll up my windows to the car and lock the whole thing down, for fear that someone is going to snag my bag or ipod or phone out of the front seat, just so that i can walk in and tell you that i am the guy on the card. but wait! now i have to wait behind the mother buying milk and the ragged looking gentleman getting a forty as well! this convenience store is so convenient! thank you. again, my lack of patience got the best of me and i told the guy to cancel the transaction so that i could go to a real convenience store. i know. i really need to work on that. ooo… i need you… just a little patience… yeah… thanks, axel.

guys, please realize the protocol as far as which urinal or toilet you are to use when a bathroom is occupied or unoccupied. i was in the bathroom today, alone. pulled up to the very first urinal. that left, to my right, one urinal and two stalls. dude walks in a picks the urinal right next to me. stage fright. now i have to play it off and come back in five minutes. if people just knew what the hell they were supposed to do, i wouldn’t have these problems.
so here is a link for you. take the test. know what the rules are…