those of who us who are not afraid to admit that we were “sex in the city” fans might recall the time that carrie got dumped by a post it note. and a few months ago, i knew a girl who was broken up with by her guy friend changing his status from “in a relationship” to “single” on myspace. he just expected her to pick up on the change.
class.
as bad as both of those examples are, what if you just never hear from the person again? they simply drop off the face of your Earth as it were.
this scenario seems to be a growing trend, at least for me. one minute, you are just plugging along, enjoying getting to know someone, having a little fun, feeling the flow and doing the bull dance. the next minute your phone stops ringing, your IM stops beeping, and the little guy isn’t saying “you’ve got mail” anymore (not like anyone still uses AOL). this leave you standing there and scratching your melon without any clear cut answers.
now some of the perpetrators of this tactic might do a little set up. they might start doing stuff that they know bothers you or downright pisses you off. this was probably them trying to convince you that you need to break up with them. its an ever so subtle tactic. but it takes the onus off of them to go through the sometimes stressful process of a break up. lets face it, it can be an awkward situation if both parties don’t agree that it isn’t working. the begging, the grovelling, the promises to change or make things work. it can be quite pathetic.
but that does not mean that you shouldn’t just be an adult and step up to the plate. i was talking to a friend the other day about this. take the band aid approach. just rip the sucker off and let the cut heal.
over a year ago, i was seeing a girl and everything was going along swimmingly in my mind. then one day, she simply vanished.
i gave it my (at the time) industry standard. two phone calls, two texts, two emails. see, the two phone calls, she could have just been busy or unavailable. no biggie. two texts, you can usually get a text signal even when your cell is out of range. you can play it a little coy by this point but you are starting to feel that uneasy feeling. by the time you get around to emails, you are pretty much aware that the fat lady is doing scales in the corner as preparation for her last tune. the first one should be sort of playful but not desperate. never desperate. the second can have a little more bite to it, but you still want to stay somewhat cordial. you don’t want to be taken as a stalker or just a flat out asshole. you are hopeful, but shouldn’t expect a reply.
then you move on.
now, all this of course is contingent on just how much you give a shit. either way, the golden rule should play over and over in your mind. do unto others as you’d have done to you. in other words, suck it the fuck up and just deal with it. you might still be able to salvage a decent friendship out of the whole fine mess.