alright hamster lovers, i have been benched on the couch all day with a bad case of bubble guts and have had a chance to review a few movies.
i know that somewhere along the lines (probably when it first came out and i saw it in the theater) i did a makeshift review of mission impossible 3.
it was almost good enough to let you forget that tom cruise is crazy. almost.
increasing the romantic factor in this flick helped to round it out into more of a complete story i think. the first one was “techno MI” as far as the theme was concerned and he didn’t have a love interest. just ving rhames.
in the second one, he fell for the girl by accident after hooking up with her. and then it was the whole last of the mohicans “i will find you” bullshit.
but the third one was pretty complete. minus the whole phillip seymour hoffman as the bad guy. that was tough for me to buy after he was the rich kid with the paint balloon prank in scent of a woman. or worse yet, one of the nut job tornado chasers in twister. not villian material.
it gets two out of four bananas on the monkey scale.
a history of voilence. what a great fucking movie. i rented it some time ago, but it has recently showed up again on hobo. i have always like viggo mortenson’s work. gi jane, carlito’s way, hidalgo, the perfect murder. he is a good actor.
and if you throw maria bello in there, its candy. as far as looks go, she is right up there with charlize theron i think. they kind of look alike.
a good story about a midwest guy that is a hero in a robbery but the publicity that follows may have opened up his secret past. good plot. awesome bad guy with ed harris and his butchered eye.
i was a little disgruntled with the william hurt philly portrayal, but the rest of the flick made up for it.
with the two realistic and phenomenal sex scenes (one a cheerleader outfit, one angry sex on steps) the rating should be a monkey spanking it, but its a three banana movie all the way!

an update, tonight.  i have to sort through all the pictures from the hectic week last week.  patience.

in the mean time, check out the trailer for this movie.  it is another frank miller adaptation.  for those of you that loved sin city, this will be awesome.  i cannot wait!

i think first of all, i need to develop a rating system just in case i do regular movie reviews.  since i love monkeys, we will use a four banana rating system.  the more bananas, the better the flick.  get it? 

alright, so i have hit the pay per view a couple of times in the last week.  see if you can tell by the descriptions which one i liked and which one… not so much.

last week while the rents were here, we had a little down time the night before turkey day and decide that we would punch up good ol channel 801 to see what those geniuses out in tinsel town cranked out for our viewing pleasure.

now, i have enjoyed mr. vince vaughn in his humorous pursuits in the past.  and there isn’t a damn thing that i don’t like about mrs. jennifer aniston.  she is one tasty little morsel. 

the break up.  premise of the movie is that ever so funny and charasmatic vince makes that luscious little dollop jenn fall in love with him.  and somehow they afford this amazing condo in chi-town together.  they don’t get married?  the lustre on their love fades and the bitterness sets in on who is going to be the sole owner of the property.  they pull out all the tricks.  dating other people.  making each other jealous.  not inviting the other to things they know the other would want to do.

there are plenty of those patented “fast talking, you might not understand what i am say because its mostly obscure humor” vince vaughn moments.  and there is a number of those patented “i am hot but you still feel sorry for me because no man has ever treated me like i deserve” jennifer aniston moments.

but there is this unwritten rule in hollywood that if a couple has chemistry off screen, then the on screen magic fizzles.  this was one of those movies.

to be perfectly honest, i still have absolutely no idea how the movie ended.  i remember a jenn smile and a vince smile, the credits rolling, and this overwhelming desire to write time warner cable and ask them to pull this movie off of the pay per view in order to save other peopple the same disappointment that i had just experienced.  i don’t think there was even any resolution to their relationship.  shit, if i want that kind of confusion, i will stick with my own personal life.

rating:  the monkey flung poo at this one.  no bananas for you. 

on the other hand…

i grabbed the dice again with the pay per veiw tonight.  and even though i crapped out last time i rolled, i had to get back in there.  we fall so we can get back up right?

old reliable.  adam sandler.  but i was aprehensive.  i didn’t want to sit here and watch the same cast that he has in all his movies telling the same jokes.

click.  a guy who has a ton of shit going on in his life and unable to deal with all goes to bed bath and beyond to pick up a universal remote.  christopher walken gives him a remote for the universe instead.  the choices he makes affect how the remote fast forwards through his life until it gets out of control.

first of all, what a fucking cast!  david hasselhoff is fantastic in all his hoffness.  fantastic.  and walken is an icon.  there is no other way to say it.  and oh my god.  kate beckinsale.  she very well might have earned a spot in my top five.

i laughed my ass off.  i cried my eyes out.  i will be taking full advantage of my twenty four hours with this movie again tomorrow after work.  phenomenal.

rating:  two bananas.  good monkey.