of course it was over to the house of pasta to catch up with some of the guys when i went home to lancaster for the holiday. we didn’t get to beat the bushes as much for bodies because quaye, my main contact to the world north of the mason-dixon line, is now in the cackilackies as well.
i hadn’t seen sam carter in probably twelve years. and i am here to tell you, the woman is still a stunner.
we managed to swill our share big boy brews and even belt out a few tunes for the karaoke night. the bastards now i have never smoked the wacky weed, so they made me sing “because i got high.” just for that, i made quaye sing “right here waiting” by richard marx. if i closed my eyes, i could almost feel like i was uncomfortably slow dancing with jennifer bushong in seventh grade.
and don’t ask me why all the kissing went on…

WAAAAAY back in december, the pittsburgh crew came into town for the weekend of the steeler game. it was shitty weather that morning, so a few of them got delayed, but nails, more, and brickell snuck through. so, i picked them up uptown after work. when i pulled up, nails was parallel parking a car for a young lady who was apparently incapable of doing it herself. always the gentlemen.
then it was back to la casa delYerg so i could get changed and grab a few beers. and after a quick stop at the teeter, we hit the hotel where the rest of the boys had made it into town. a few games of asshole and a few beers and then i had to jet. but i caught back up with them later that night at cans…







i even got to catch up with scarcella while i was there…

good times indeed. it was great seeing all of the old crew.
sunday i managed to snap this mullet of all mullets on a kid at the game…

poor little guy.

our boy rome finally left his twenties behind on friday.  abandoning what was left of his youth and deciding to give it one last hurrah before he finds himself in housepants curled up with buddy and just playing suduko all night.

friends came from far and wide to help rome with this celebration.  hell, jean even flew in from california.  evan and eric came up from south cackilacky.  i drove the three miles to his house.  nuts!

so we started out at jerome’s around six thirty or seven.  i was the only one suited up at that point, but that would quickly change.  actually, the guys changed.  anyway.  the people that were in on the limo and joining for dinner slowly started to trickle in.  gabe was last pimp through the door since the limo picked him up at his place…

rome and jean looking rough suited up.

laura lu and patrica looking hot as all get out.

eric and monika dashing in the kitchen.

and everybody is automatically cooler in a limousine.  in my two rides in a limo, i have come to know this as fact.  and with a bottle of bubbly in the ride and some rap blaring, it was only a matter of time before gang signs started getting flashed and everybody looked gangsta.  note the spelling. 

jean, rome, and gabe in the back.

LP smiling while i throw out the gas face.  yeah, i said it.  if you don’t know third bass, you shouldn’t be here!

evan and eric posing as hard asses.

sue and i both are tough.

patty snow puckering up.

too cool to keep the eyes open for j-rod and LP.  jean hanging between them.

dinner at havana was great.  israel and his friend, eric, (yes, there were two erics and two phonetic jareds.) lent to interesting conversation throughout the meal.  we tackled all the big hitters for dining conversation.  politics and religion.  they are usually no-no’s, but for some reason, i have been game on such debates lately.

after a wonderful meal, we piled back into the limo.  it was obvious that we ate some serious grub since we scraped like a mo-hunky leaving the restaurant.  then it was off to loft 1523 to embibe some tasty libations and enjoy the company of yet more comrades.  (that was, like, a three dollar sentence with all those fifty cent words.  you liked that huh?)

loft is a decent place to just kick back a few in a more sofisticated setting.

brian wants you…

rome with the nieghbors, mark and sherrill.

jason snead and i.  chillin’.

brian and sherrill.

leigh, in from out of town with her friend whose name escapes my memory.  seriously, that is what it said on her driver’s license.

when they were looking to close down and kick us out of the bar, a handful of us decided to kick it back to where it all started… jerome’s house.

gabe, hanging late night.

ike throwing out the eyebrow for the intellectual look.  either that, or he was wasted and was over compensating only the one eye to keep open.

time stamp on the picture of jarod drinking what was more than likely his last beer for the night?  roughly 4am.

evan and buddy chilling late night.  apparently, i am having trouble centering people into the pictures.

rome getting his birthday kiss on the cheek.

i took a little time to sober the hell up so that i could navigate back to la casa delYerg.  but i felt a little out of sorts when the clock on the nightstand read five fifteen.  so i called jerome, and the same anamoly was occurring at his house.

i didn’t awaken from my slumber on saturday until about three thirty in the PM.  from what i have heard of other participants, i was one of the early risers.  the guy that was thirty years and one day old was rumored to not rise until the sevenish range.  full recovery for some didn’t take place until monday.  that is a one hell of a time.

thanks to all that organized, it was much appreciated.  happy birthday, brother.

what do you get when you cross a mild mannered NoDa wine bar, a couple of good drink specials, a handful of out going people, and platinum J in all his karaoke splendor?  one hell of a time at dolce vita on thursday, that’s what.

we kicked off around eight or eight thirty after getting all the equipment set up.  and from there, it just took off.  platinum is the ideal guy for running a karaoke night.  not afraid to call people out at all.  and he has a great set up with a decent list of tunes for you to belt out if you are willing.  and sometimes, even if you aren’t willing.  i know i got called out once or twice for “platinum’s picks” a couple of times.  if there was nobody signed up to sing, J would keep things rolling by picking a song of his choice followed by a singer of his choice.  good times.

and it was nice to catch up with my buddy graham.  he moved to NYC last year and we lost touch for the most part since then.  but i slapped him with an email last week and he just happened to be breezing through the CLT for business.

scott and melissa…

scotty belting out another tune.  more than likely, “okie from muskogee”…

 platinum J standing by in amazement as i sound exactly like scott weiland for “interstate love song”…

alexis with the scarf around the mic for what turned out to be a spoken word version of “sweet child o mine”… 

molly kate with bryan…

alexis on a duet with polly… 

bryan and mark belting one out…

great googily moogily.  molly and irma. 

straight cheese from alexis…

hanging…

don’t remember her name, but she took it pretty seriously…

so, it was a good night at DV.  talk was going around at the end of the night to crank up some more karaoke sometime in january, so stay tuned.  you don’t want to miss out twice.

last tuesday was one of the top ten social events of the year for young singles in charlotte.  second string santa.  an unwrapped toy and ten bucks gets you through the door at this great charity event.  paschal told me that there were over 4400 people in attendance.

jarod and i started at sierra’s apartment for a little pregame before walking over.  she was obviously sporting her “ball hair.”  not sure if it is so name because of the shape of the do or because she usually styles it that way for ball type events. 

it was non-stop with the running into people.  and all of them looked fantastic.  it was just a matter of finding the five or six feet to step back and be able to take them all in.  a claustrophobes worst hangout.  but the drinks were flowing…

… and so was the cheese.  giggle giggle.  that was an ambiguous comment.

afterward, we had a couple more beers at sierra’s friends’ new bar.  george herman’s.  note that is babe ruth’s real name.  it was a quaint little joint.  i think it was on graham between 2nd and 3rd.  not bad if you are in the area.

all in all, there is nothing better than justifying a night of drinking by saying that it was “for the kids.”

alright, so i have been slower than mole asses in january on getting the update on here. do moles hibernate during the winter?

anywho.

friday night, AD and i cruised up to NoDa to take in a little bit of the gallery crawl. with a clear night, the streets were packed. the drum circle outside of salvador deli was kicking. solstice tavern was packed.

we, of course, started out at dolce vita. we grabbed a couple beers and chatted with irma for a little. then she joined us as we sauntered up to the rat’s nest since they were having their christmas party. punch and snack in the front with a frantic sheila working the store while the boys played some tunes out back.

it was AD’s first time in the store and i knew the look on his face because i had it the first time i walked in a month or so ago. astonishment with the funky finds that grace the rat’s nest racks.

our time there was relatively short-lived as irma’s celly blew up and we had to roll back down to dolce to pick up a bottle before going to a house party. ok. we were along for the ride.

my apologies ahead of time, but AD took a shitload more pictures than i did. you don’t want to be the two guys at a party just getting to know a bunch of people and both of you are snapping away like its a photo shoot. maybe you will find his at his site.we met up with alexis at the house party, still in NoDa. beautiful house. plenty of liquor. the bottle irma grabbed was an unfiltered sake and it didn’t last long. i even got roped into a shot. scotty showed up a little later and added to the already spirited conversation.

somewhere in there, i may or may not have agreed to throw my hat in the ring for the cystic fibrosis guys and dolls charity auction in february as an available bachelor. i will keep you posted on this.

after the party, we headed back to DV for another round. now just scott, AD, and i, we journeyed back up to the rat’s nest for a little late night tomfoolery. this included the trying on of lots of clothes and the embibing of some viscious shine. combining the two leads to pictures like this…

yes, those are budweiser label cut off jeans. guh. but we all had a good time and everyone made it home safely.

- alright already people. for some reason, some of you actually want to know what goes on in my life. i think its just so that you can feel better about your own.

- but anywho… we catch up with our hero last tuesday night. he was expecting his parents to arrive from pennsyltucky at approximately 12:30am but was bold enough to try and fit in a show at the visualite theater beforehand. citizen cope.

it was cold and raining like ten sonsabitches. not good. especially since there appeared to be a line as rome and i approached the front door. doors were at 8pm and we got there around 9pm, so this was confusing. to add to that feeling, the roid monkeys working the door didn’t have any answers as far as when they were going to start letting people in. the show may have been sold out. but they don’t know?

after twenty-five minutes of standing behind slews of teenagers who could finally smoke because mom wasn’t around, rome and i cut our losses and bailed. good music not listened to by these ears.

but that allowed me to go home and finish folding some laundry before the rents got there. a beer and a half later, i passed out on the couch, thankfully awaken when they called from my neighborhood. god, its good seeing family.

- wednesday was a cold and ugly day in the CLT. doesn’t make for good sightseeing.  so we did what every red blooded amercian does when the weather sucks.  we went to the mall.  a little bit of shopping and people watching at southpark, and we were good to go.

after that, we headed back to la casa delYerg(s) and got cleaned up to go to dinner.  of course, we hit cabo fish taco followed by a few drinks at dolce vita.  where else am i going to take my family?  seriously.

rome joined us for a few glasses of vino and irma and molly kept it entertaining.  it was a good night, but an early night for us.  after all, there was the impending turkey day…

-  it seems like we got up at the butt crack of dawn everyday, but that could have just been the way that i felt since i didn’t really want to get out of bed, but found myself having to since my guests had arisen.  the whole obligation to wake up thing.  that led me to not sleeping in all five of the days that i had off.  poo tinky to that.

we eased into our day though after getting the bird in the oven a little before nine.  and we continued our food prep around ten thirty, keeping in mind a two o’clock dinner time.

the television never really came off the speed channel after i found the show “pinks!” while flipping through.  it kind of took pop back to his yesteryears with the whole drag racing thing.  yeah, dad was a little of a motorhead.

but thankfully, he is also a plumber.  you see, if it is la casa delYerg, the house is fine.  one singular sensation residing under the roof.  when it becomes la casa de los Yergs, some of the strain becomes more that the little house can bear.  especially when asked to swallow a mound of sweet potato peels that made it through the garbage disposal, but not much farther.

this bothered the shit out of the guy whose name is on the mortgage.  yeah, me.  but dad pacified my frustration as we tore apart the under guts of the sink later that afternoon.

around noon thirty or so, we were joined by my sister, lindsay, and her fiancee, conor.  linds is my girl and conuts cracks me the hell up on a regular basis.  and this was their first time in the CLT!  good times ahead!

but the meal!  i set the tables ever so nicely with my cb2 plates and bowls and the pier1 place settings.  and then we feasted.  started with a nice little tossed salad (keep it clean, it was a family affair).  then we did a kind of buffet style dinner.  turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, green bean caserole, corn, and rome’s fried okra.  if you got up from that table hungry, it was your own fault.  and of course, there was plenty of vino.  i love that montepulciano.  two bottles?  gonzo in no time flat.  alexis snuck in a little past starting time and got himself a good plate of grub as well…

-  after dinner, we topped it all off with some fucking delicious pumpkin roll and an apple pie that my kick ass neighbors left for me that morning.  we cleaned up and let the tryptophan settle into the bloodstream.  that and some more wine.  alexis split for a little while to go get his pooch, frank, and came back with kat as well.

then the gauntlet was set.  trivial pursuit!  now, i have only lost at trivial pursuit about a dozen times in this (almost) thrity-one years.  and one of those losses came at the hands of my father.

so we huddled around that wonderful wheel of trivia and duked it out.  rome and i vs. dad and sal vs. conor and lindsay.  it was heated.  and then it cooled off.  and then it drug on for what seemed like forever.  this ended with my team’s oppenents conceding and another in a long line of victories for theYerg.

-  friday in the CLT was freaking beautiful!  the sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and the wine hangover wasn’t too bad.  so after some eggs and cornbread, we ventured out.  linds and sal hit the mall.  dad, conor, and i hit kilborne for some disc golf.

this was the first time for both conor and dad.  and at first, conor and i were the only ones playing.  but, i think after dad realized that he wasn’t going to be any worse than conor, he took up some discs on the fourth fairway and started chucking.  this was an experience.  there was a fair amount of swearing, a lot of laughing, and a decent amount of time looking for frisbees.  but after two and a half hours (a normal round there takes about an hour less) we returned to the car with smiles on our faces.

then it was a quick trip down to the mexi-wal-mart.  a little unnerving, but i got the stuff that i needed to go wireless in la casa delYerg.  a little card and a router and i am up and running.  like i needed a reason to stay up even later.

rome, again, joined us for dinner.  turkey day leftovers done shepard’s pie style in a baking pan.  fucking delish.  after that, linds, conor, LP, and i hit dolce vita for a couple of glasses of vino. 

-  saturday we woke up around eight thirty to the sounds of packing.  dad and sal had enjoyed their stay, but it was time to head back north so that dad could get ready for the first day of deer season.  it was really great being able to share a slice of my charlotte life with them like that.

then it was conor, linds, and i.  we took the “jared yerg three dollar tour of charlotte” so named because that is the amount of gas the sexterra might eat up on the trip.  we were blessed with another gorgeous day.  we went from NoDa to plaza midwood, couldn’t get a table at the penguin so decided to keep going.  into elizabeth, down to southpark, up into dilworth, over to southend, through uptown, back into NoDa where we stopped at the rat’s nest.  i got a couple of shirts there and then we hopped back in to see if we could get a table at the penguin.  no dice.  over to thomas street for some back patio grub.  and then i waxed poor conor’s ass in a couple of games of ping pong.

-  saturday night was a great time.  we were invited to patricia’s for a nice paella dinner.  a dozen or so people sharing a nice meal and wonderful conversation together (my soapbox conversation with another guest may soon arrive here).  very adult and a lot of fun.  thanks patricia.

conor, linds, and i got one last picture before heading up to the evening muse for some good tunes.  the guys from the rat’s nest were just finishing up as we got there and then truckstop preachers took the stage.  entertaining as always.  and although it really wasn’t conor and lindsay’s type of music, i think they enjoyed the show.

-  the kids left sunday morning and i was left in an empty house.  kinda still suffering from a familial hangover.  its tough when i only see them a couple of times a year.  and its exhausting afterward.

i hope you all had a wonderful thanksgiving weekend.  now its back to work…

piece out.

last thursday night, LP roped a couple of us for a show at the evening muse. she had heard that nathan angelo, who we saw open for will hoge last month, was playing there.
LP and i were eventually joined at the muse by AD, rome, and patricia for the show that had andy davis and the animators bookending nathan’s set. all the music was good. got a little bit of the animators and then the animators with nathan sitting in on keyboard…

i handed the camera to AD thinking he would take a bunch of stills…



but AD got a little rambunctious and turned into a video recording machine. first interviewing, then filming while my drunk ass interviewed. it was fun stuff…

a special thanks to all the guys in the bands for putting up with our drunk asses and being a good sport.
i have to tell you, i am really enjoying the andy davis CD to. you can find all these guys on myspace.

 -  last thursday (yes, my lazy ass has not written since last week.  but honestly, if you try writing with your ass, the typos are more prevalent) was the open mic night at dolce vita.  but prior to that i met up with the guys (rome, jarod, and gabriel) at the penguin.  prior to that, it was our latest edition of everyone’s favorite game, “fun with facial hair!”  right after you exclaim that, you have to yell “yea!” like kermit the frog did every time he would introduce someone.  and if you feel so inclined, flap your arms around like kermit too.  its more fun that way.

sadly, this time around, “fun with facial hair!” only consisted of two rounds or trimmings as it were.

round one left me yearning for the homeland.  lancaster, pennsylvania, unst (spoken with a heavy amish accent.  i will perform it upon request if i see you out and about.).  the abe lincoln/amish beard.  with the war of northern aggression as i have come to know it here in the CLT, i knew the honest abe wasn’t the way to go.  and since i am not married, i couldn’t in good conscience keep it under the guise of the amish beard.  i do believe that only married amish men are permitted to grow beards.

and the second round of the game actually left us with the end result and how it currently stands.  since my brother, jason, was the only initial vote made without prodding his was the one satisfied.  not necessarily the squared off chops, but the pointed, longer sideburns with the goatee.  please note for future games of “fun with facial hair!” that if the mustach is kept and connected to the goatee, it is a van dyke.  this is a common misnomer amongst the facial hair uneducated. 

-  then it was off to some spirited conversation about the breasts of the patrons at the penguin (that girl has to have back problems!) as well as many other topics with the guys over a small block burger that i don’t think i tasted and some beers. 

for your benefit, there was a study conducted by the four of us as we consumed our yeungling lagers.  hopefully this well help you in the future.  if you are in a party of more than three people, it is more cost effective to procure individual beers rather than a pitcher.  a pitcher of yeungling costing five dollars will fill four pint glasses approximately a quarter of an inch from the top of the glass.  roughly three or four ounces shy of a full glass.

four individual pints that are full to the top will cost you a dollar fifty a piece.  that adds up to six dollars.  so it is an extra dollar for the roughly twelve ounces that would have topped off your pints with the pitcher.  more beer for your buck to go with individual pints.  if it helps, “more than three?  individual pint for me.”

-  after that, i ventured up to dolce vita for a little open mic night.  i turned into a little more of a jam session than an open mic night.  the drums were a little overwhelming and didn’t really make it conducive for singing.  but i believe a good time was still had by all.

-  i think we should have the surgeon general impose an injunction on taco bells current advertising theme.  with the obesity of america not getting any better, the last thing we should have a fast food restaurant advertising is a fourth meal of the day.  especially one as healthy as that which taco hell would provide you.  that said, i have been jonesing for taco hell lately, but the closest one to my house is on the other side of town.

-  friday afternoon (still a little hungover from DV the night before), i had my second run at reborne, the recently renovated disc golf course.  how about the alliteration in that sentence?  save it for the sequel to ”V is for vendetta” when they tackle the letter R.

my buddy jamie, from work, joined me for a round.  instead of playing every hole as a par three like i did last week with rome and rodney, we played the course as labelled.  this was a lot better result for me.  we were neck and neck until around hole thirteen where my motor skills apparently left me.  but i finished with a three under to his six under.  a good round that we will have to revisit.

 -  late friday afternoon, i passed out on the couch.  and apparently while doing so, my cell phone was set to silent.  unbeknownst to me.  when i came to, there were a plethora of voicemails.  (why am i writing in an almost shakespearean tone?)

the one that really caught my attention was melissa calling to tell me that she wanted to delivery me a painting.  i was ecstatic.  keep in mind that when her and i had originally discussed me commissioning her to do a piece for me, the task that was set was quite daunting.  i told her that i wanted something with a subject matter as opposed to the abstract work that she usually does.  but i didn’t give her any hints to what i wanted the subject matter to be.  she walked around my house and took in the rest of the art that hangs on my walls.  i gave her the color tabs for the living room and kitchen that i used out of my paint wheel.  and i told her to paint something she thought i would like.  a few months later, my product was delivered….

its a mixed media piece.  acrylic, watercolor, and pencil on canvas with the worry dolls sewn right on.  she really impressed me.  now i have a beautiful woman that lives with me.

and ladies and gentlemen, melissa is for hire.  if you like what you see and would like to commission her to do some artwork for you, feel free to contact me and i will put you in touch with her.

-  saturday afternoon was just a bunch of guys playing in the dirt at jerome’s house.  rome got ambitious and decided to reclaim a portion of his property behind the fence in his backyard.  i got there a little late, but what they did with a bush hog, a tiller, a bobcat and some machetes was insane.  came close to tripling his back yard.  nuts.

saturday night, we were down for the low key.  a little gub over at mac’s speed shop and then over to dolce vita for a few glasses of vino.  travis had a little trouble finding a beer that he liked there for some reason.  i can certainly tell you that he doesn’t like peroni.  i think he said something about skunk piss.  but some good conversation with laura lu, scotty, travis, wendi, and samantha.

-  rome, rodney, and i decided to take in the revitalized kilborne park disc golf course that some are calling “reborne” on friday afternoon.  i would have done better i think if i kicked the frisbees around the park.  i threw a fair amount of rollers unintentionally which left me walking through the woods most of the afternoon.  that is no place to get clean frisbee throws.  needless to say, rome beat me by about ten strokes, while rodney beat me by about 14.  rough outing.

-  friday night, it took all that i could muster to peel my ass off the couch.  but i finally did around 10:30 and zipped over to dolce vita for a couple of glasses of wine.  after an hour or so, alexis asked if i want to roll over to the rat’s nest with him.  i had never been there, but i heard their vintage or old school clothes were the shit.  i heard right.

bryan, sheila, and the gang let us in to hang out, but i ended up dropping some coin on new duds.  the shirt will follow.  here are the boots i picked up, though.  they were made in the late 50’s and they fucking rock.

we hung out there for a little while and just took in some tunes on vinyl and drank some wine.  good times.

-  saturday night was a doubleheader as far as parties were concerned.  AD and i started out at rome’s for his martini party.  just a little gathering.  70 or so people replied with affirmative attendance on the evite.  we cranked up there around eight or so.  for some reason, its been awhile since i had hung out with a number of people, so it was great kinda “catching up.”  some were already dressed for the second leg of the evening, the rockabilly night at dolce vita.

staged looking away…

then it was off to dolce vita to listen to some of jem crosland and the hypertonics.  and yes, i stopped at the house to change my clothes on the way.  sue me.

show off…

then it was back to rome’s for a little late night.  i was nowhere remotely close to sober at this point…

i think i finally got back to la casa delYerg around quarter after three in the AM.  i felt that sunday morning.  once rome posts pictures, i will add some of his to here.  thanks to rome for the hospitality. 

-  news that will surely ruin one of my favorite shows:  neil patrick harris (doogie howser, MD) came out this past weekend.  i love the show “how i met your mother.”  in it, harris plays the cynical chauvanist pig barney to a T.  but its going to be hard to see him as the funny womanizer (yes, i know there is nothing funny about being a womanizer) when i know he is gay in real life.  i am not saying there is anything wrong with it, i think expression of one’s sexuality is a right.  its kinda like how when anne heche killed the movie “six days, seven nights” when she was with ellen degeneres.  anne and harrison ford had decent on screen chemistry, but the poppy romance thing wasn’t buyable with her being one of the poster girls for lesbian couples at the time.  side note:  i think they actually hired someone to make sure anne’s nipples were hard throughout that entire movie.  thank you.

-  ooo!  mail!  and it’s not bills!  i love ordering shit online and having it delivered to the house.  new belt buckles!  and yes, i am an egotistical prick.  come on people, i talk about myself in the third person on here all the time!

-  saddam is guilty!  no shit.  where else but theYerg.com do party pictures and doogie howser being gay trump saddam hussein’s verdict?  so they are going to stretch saddam’s neck for him.  good.

piece out.