on yet another day, i find myself sitting in the cube farm. the constant blowing of the AC vent above my head adds white noise that makes it almost impossible to stay awake. but every now and then there is a change on the cube farm that stirs things up a little. in this case, its another drone. i mean, new co-worker.
i remember growing up, i used to watch all the bugs bunny cartoons and such. including the ever so charming pepe le pew that chased around that cat that happened into some black paint. and for the for child’s mind, they added that visual affect that let us know where his funk was wafting. i thought such effects were only possible in the movies until now…
now, i have endured my fair share of olfactory assaults over the years. i grew up in lancaster, PA, so the fresh smell of manure is more of a sweet aroma than an offense to me. emptying grease traps during one of my three tours at the golden arches was never something that i looked forward to. and the smells that one encounters as an exterminator are never pleasant. and let’s face it, my schozz as more than ample intake in order to take in some funk.
that being said, i have never taken on such a nasal bombardment as i have over the last week. the shear volume of perfume that my latest co-worker applies throughout the day might signify that there is no recession. but at the same time, the quality of said perfume does not imply some sort of exorbitant cost.
this odor has knocked out my ability to smell anything else. taste is gone. my eyes are burning. and it only takes two passes of your cubicle to induce a headache. her reek is wreaking havoc! a normal response to such an attack is to fix bayonets and charge across the fields to pierce our foes that have unleashed such chemical warfare. but alas, WWI is over and i am left speaking to management.
this may be my last writing as i will either succumb to it potency and be found on the floor of my cube unconscious or i will snap and take out the perpetrator. although with that much perfume, nobody would smell her body for years…