monkey dating…

March 16th, 2010

no, not dating the primates a little lower down the evolutionary chart from humans. although, if you take a look around some of the bars in charlotte, you would swear that cro magnon period is still going. it amazing how they can still hold a red bull and vodka while their knuckles scrape the ground.
but as usual, i digress…
a monkey dater is someone who has developed a pattern in their pursuit of relationships whereas as soon as they let go of one potential partner, they grab ahold of another. much like a monkey swinging on vines through the jungle.
as someone that is playing the dating field, one should be wary of monkey daters. there are two kinds really, the ones that hold onto a vine for a really long time and the ones that just grab one vine in order to grab the next one. we have all met the guy or girl who admits to “never really being single.” dated their high school sweetheart from the time that they hit puberty until their sophomore year of college where they realized they didn’t have anything in common anymore and moved onto being the sweetheart of their new boyfriend or girlfriend’s fraternity or sorority where everyone swore they were going to last forever. but then without the mixers and formals to keep them going, they break up and fall for their first “adult” relationship which realistically might even involve a marriage these days. by the way, the rebound for a divorced habitual monkey dater is going to have to deal with the “i just want to try being single for a little while” type of thing. mind-numbing, but it can sometimes break the cycle and transform that person into the non-commital type. sort of like the second type of monkey dater…
the second kind of monkey dater is someone that has a loooooong string of short relationships. these are people that are never satisfied with what they have. they are looking for someone better. the next best thing. you know, the kind of person that trades in their car every year or two and always has the coolest new cell phone. they sort of hope that their next partner comes with bluetooth. these people may even start an evening on a date with one person and leave with another. i have seen it happen. these monkeys are trying to swing from every tree in the jungle, so beware.
but with most things, just go ahead and do what you are going to do when you are damn good and ready. the ‘ol go with the gut usually works… especially for chubby chasers…

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