“late december back in 63.  what a very special time for me.  what a lady.  what a night.”  sorry.  i love that song.  i wasn’t even born in 1963.

volleyball last night was insane.  regular readers know that i am nursing two bum shoulders back to health.  so, i have been playing a little and taking a lot off of my swings.  there is still the discomfort when i swing, but its not as bad.  so i think i am getting better.  the main reason that i am eager to get back into playing regularly is just so i am not a lump of shit with no wind when i do jump on.

first, i was already bushed when i got to volleyball last night.  second string santa the night before took a little bit out of me (recap of that to follow when i get the few pictures i took loaded.)  so i was dragging ass.  but i was in a good mood.

our games last night were at nine and ten o’clock.  that freaking sucks because you are still geeked when you get home and cannot get to sleep right away even though your body wants you to.

anyway, i started warming up around seven.  i wanted to be good and stretched out by the time our matches came up.  unfortunately, matt faust went down yet again with an ankle injury.  i have never met a cuy so injury prone.  but i jumped on with cecil, sara, and lindsay (i think that was her name.  could have been lisa) for the second match of their double header at eight.

i eased into it and it felt good.  i am just having to go with more dink shots instead of swinging away.  it could make me a better player becuase i am having to place the ball more.  not sure.  but we had a really good time playing together and went 3-0 against the good house team.

right after that, keep it up, my team took the court.  the latest rendition of our roster was H, greg, me, and paige.  she subbed in for us last night, but might become a regular for next season.

our first match was against the bucket brigade.  aptly named because for the sand league over the summer, they would bring this alcoholic lemonade concoction that they would mix up in a bucket and pass around.  they are a fun team.  a guy, his wife, his dad, and a friend.

i was borderling delirious at this point with my energy level.  so i was cracking jokes and having a good time playing.  their one guy was blocking greg left and right, but he worked around him.  we pretty much cruised.

the third game we actually instituted the old “spandex game” rule.  when erin played with us back in the day, we would designate one game a night as the spandex game.  if we lost that game, every member of the team would have to show up the next week in some form of spandex.  we never lost the spandex game, thankfully.

so, a 3-0 match against the brigade.

then came our challenge for the evening.  remixed fields an excellent team every season.  one of the best in the league.  anchored by the distrurbingly fast sean.  the dude is seriously only like 5′6″ and he wails the ball.  on top of that, he is one of the sickest hustling players.  tracks down balls like mad.  scrappy as hell.

with the smell of smoke from my ass now dragging behind me, i honestly didn’t give us a fighting chance in this match.  that was my bad.

every single point was hard fought.  it was  back and forth the whole time.  sideout ball.  the first game was a crushing loss for us.  28-26.  i was a little more than pissed when we all but had the point won at twenty-six all and another court that was just goofing around had a ball roll on our court.  we lost the momentum of that point and two plays later, the game.

the second game was just as close.  we pulled that one out 26-24.  tight the whole way.

the third and deciding game was like apollo and rocky in the second movie.  when they are just slugging away at each other and they eventually both fall down.  rocky won because he got up before the ten count.  we were apollo creed that game.  beat as hell, it being 10:45 when we started the third game, we dropped it 25-23.

some of the best and most enjoyable ball we have played in quite some time.  what a night…

the last few weeks of open play volleyball, i wore jeans just so i wouldn’t be dressed accordingly if i got the itch to play.  this week, i went knowing full well that i wanted to play.

it was yet another good turn out at the SW2.  good enough to run fours and five on a couple of courts.  and, as promised, i kept one of the nets at women’s height so that the ladies could play competitive sixes.

i started playing three’s, but i found that it wasn’t going to be the pace or workload that was going to make for a smooth transition as far as easing my shoulders into play was concerned.  so after dropping a couple of games, my threes squad disbanded and was absorbed by other teams for fours and fives.  thankfully.

jumping on with neville, stiga, and some others was good for me.  a decent fives team where i could get a good workout playing back row as well as getting the occassional swing in.  i went a good seven eighths speed when playing the back and about three quarter when on the front row.

the odd thing for the night was that for some reason, my blocking was on.  even last week playing with alex in the wednesday night league, i told him that i wasn’t a really good blocker and that he should go to the net instead of me.  partly because of the strain on my shoulders and that i wanted to play more defense.  partly because i didn’t have the wind to block and then drop back for a swing.  but i think on sunday i had four or five really good blocks.  hard driven balls.  and my shoudlers felt okay afterward.

there were a few awkward swings that left me wincing, but i feel like i am starting to get some of it back a little.  i really appreciated neville helping me through it.  feels good to be playing again.

by the way, as far as the schedule is concerned for you open play people on sundays, next week is the last open play until the new year.  5-8 at the SW2.  in the new year, i am told that we will be getting pushed back to 7-10 because of the CJV girls coming in to practice again.  sorry.  back to late night VB it seems.

hope to see some of you out this sunday.

-  it’s open mic night tonight at dolce vita in NoDa.  last time was a blast.  tonight, i am going to bring a basket to hopefully carry a tune.  good times and possible drink specials.  not sure.

-  i cannot stay off of the court for some reason!  last night was pretty decent at the indoor volleyball league.  started and finished close to on time.  thanks goes to shem on that one for having all my nets set up when i got there.

“keep it up” had a full roster last night, but bradley’s “block or bleed” squad was sans bradley and megan last night.  so i jumped on as a back row only player with dawn, nikki, and ryan.  we faced a tough squad with “remixed” taking two of the three games, but it was fun.  good to just get on and run around.  besides, its not the bump passes that kill my shoulders.

speaking of injuries, people were dropping like flies last night.  i think i had to make up three or four ice packs for twisted ankles and the like.  people, you gotta watch your under net foot activity.  controlling you body is the key to most sports.  the last of the ice packs went to my teammate for the night, dawn.  who decided to play after giving blood yesterday.  ummm, yeah, the inside of that elbow joint that they find a vein to stick is the exact same place that you are taking hard passes.  that hurt.

hope everybody is healthy again by next week.

-  so the only voting that i got yesterday on the fun with facial hair was my brother telling me to go with the sideburns and goatee.  that very well might be the option.  especially if there is no more reader input.  hint, hint.

-  another great lunch time tune!  cult of personality by living color.  awesome fucking song!

-  for some reason, this morning i thought it would be cool to mangle giant paper clips as front yard art.  just stack them out there.  and of course, leave one of the giant paper clips intact to show the inspiration for the piece.  one of these days.

piece out.

-  chicken poo!

-  thanks to the big guy upstairs for bringing back a little sunshine today.  it helps this guy dramatically.  that and the fact that whoever picked the “myPod” songs at lunch today on 106.5 rocks!  you can’t go wrong with “dragula” by rob zombie followed up by “spacelord” by monster magnet.  classics.

-  i will be returning to the bench tonight for the third week of the indoor volleyball season at the sports connection.  we would be looking a lot better in the standings right now if we didn’t forfeit our first match of the season due to a lack of women.  (lack of women seems to be a running theme in my life…)

by the way, we are cranking back up the open play on sundays!  so if you want to come on down to the SW2 location between the hours of 5-8pm on sunday to play some volleyball, feel free.  actually, you can feel free, but it will cost you five dollars.  i will try to remember to put something up on my calendar here.

-  I VOTED!  yesterday, i took advantage of my constitutional right and voted in the local elections.  my precinct votes at the elementary school right down the street, which made it super convenient.  i somehow lost my little badge of honor sticker though in the two blocks from the school to the house.  might have fell off in the car.

the hoot was transferring precincts.  at least it was a hoot for the lady that was helping me.  “yes ma’am, my old address was COW HOLLOW drive.  and no, there were no cows.”  the sad part?  i took me a good five minutes to remember the numbers in my old address.  it was only like six months ago.  i have to lay off the booze.

but the computer touch screens were a breeze to use and i was done with the actual voting in a matter of minutes.  i cannot wait for the next presidential election.  two more long ass years.

-  so monday night when i got home from work, i knew that i had to clean up the dishes in the sink and empty the dishwasher.  it had been a little while and there was some funk emminating from the dishes in the sink.  always a bad sign.  and there may or may not have been some culture samples in some of the dishes on the bottom.

so when i got into it, i got into it.  and it took me a little while.  but by the time i got done with everything and settled onto the couch, it was about 9:30.  and i hadn’t eaten dinner yet.  i had grubbed down some serious chips and salsa, but no real dinner.  so i decided to eat something.  the mistake i made was that i washed it down with a pepsi.

i was exhausted to begin with, but the pepsi gave me just enough caffeine to not be able to doze off.  so i laid in bed from midnight to about three AM before finally going out.  and the little shit that was bothering me and keeping me up… i had to shut down my computer because the little fan in there sounded like it was in a jet airplane.  and after that was off, i could seriously hear the clock ticking in the kitchen.  for those of you not familiar with the floor plan of la casa delYerg, that clock is probably 35 or forty feet and three rooms away.  insane.

so i was dragging some serious ass yesterday.  and i will admit that i may have been a little tense.  and maybe a little short with some people.  it happens.  but after a decent night of rest, i think sunshiny jared may be back.

-  so i have been a little glum lately as far as dating and how it pertains to my life.  i haven’t really been seeing anyone.  and although its probably just in my crazy little noggin, it feels like i have been beat over the head lately with the “single” frying pan.  it seems that the women in my life fall into one of three categories: friends (in this case i am okay with identifying them with the F word), unavailable (seeing someone else, married, or living in another state), or not interested (have to do their hair that night, are leaving the country soon for work, think i am a jackass).  these are of course the cross section of women that i would in turn be interested in i guess.

that leaves this guy somewhat lonely.  as a friend inquired yesterday, “how can a guy that goes out as much as you do with as many friends, be lonely?”  well, there is a huge difference between being alone and being lonely.

but this guy is taking his time with the self inflicted “buck up little camper” speech and is ready to roll with his usual nauseaitingly chipper self.  alright, maybe not chipper.  but entertainingly sarcastic and thus fun.

-  today is the day to comment on this stupid blog!  the beard… should it stay or should it go?!  the voting is in your hands, dear readers.

-  anybody want to go to the gun range with me this weekend?

piece out.

-  oh nikita you will never know, anything about my home…  don’t ask me why, but that song “nikita” by elton john is in my head this morning.  i did listen to elton this morning when i was getting ready for work.  i thought tiny dancer was good for ironing my pants.  but that nikita song always annoyed me.  and now i have it in my head.

its one of those USA/USSR relations things that was so prevalent back in the 80’s.  if you think about how much great art, both film and music was drawn from that global story line in the 80’s, its astounding.  the fourth rocky movie alone.  especially with the second use of a survivor song in a rocky movie.  everybody remembers “the eye of the tiger,” but what about “the burning heart” as rocky is training in russia?  “in the warrior’s code, there’s no surrender..”  wow.  lyrical genius!

spies like us?  comedic genius!  “doctor”  “doctor.”  “doctor.”  “doctor.”  classic chevy chase and dan akroyd.

“toy soldiers” by martika?  she made me feel the coldness in the cold war.

all the concerts and benefits and mikhail with reagan.  i think a little bit of russia is what the US needs to get morale back.  that subtle jingoistic approach to music and movies.

tongue in cheek.

-  so last night was indoor volleyball night.  my ass is wiped.  okay.  that didn’t sound right.  my ass is dragging.  i am wiped.  there.

it was a long night down at the SW2.  traffic sucked hind tit and the little mexican lady that studied my receipt for what seemed like an eternity still botched my order at the mickey d’s drive through (i am not going to let go of our society’s misspelling of words for convenience).  diez nuggets! no es un big mac y hamburgeusa con queso!  odelay vato!  so i was running behind.

then when i got there, two of the courts weren’t even up and the other two were at women’s height and needed raised.  now i am fifteen minutes behind schedule for the night.  fiddlestix!

on top of that, the delcaration was put out this week by management, no pay, no play.  this was tough for me because i usually give my teams a couple of weeks to resolve their balance and i had to take the hard line in the second week.  be the prick as it were.  i even made one guy go up to the other facility to zip his credit card through or he would have had to forfeit his match.  it was a real pain in the ass on top of getting all the new teams that haven’t acclimated to my demeanor started “on time.”

the competitive division this season is going to be tight.  it seems to be a pretty level playing field even though there are a few teams that just need to kick in the turbos to put teams away.  our squad went 3-3 last night, which wasn’t bad.  but we were all sucking wind and dragging ass toward the end.  six games is a lot in one night.  especially if, like me, you haven’t played like that in two or three months.

and the recreational teams seem to all be enjoying themselves.  i try to toy with them all so that they realize its not all about winning.  hell, come drink beers in between games.  i don’t care.

-  i am not totally sold on hand sanitizer.  i mean, yes, the alcohol probably helps kill germs and such that are on your mitts.  but all that other gel type shit that is in hand sanitizer still lingers there.  its not like it all just evaporates along with the dead germs.  and if you eat right after that, aren’t you in fact just ingesting dead germ jelly on top of your grub?  i don’t know.

-  tomorrow night is gallery crawl night up in NoDa.  make sure you go.  i am not sure how many more of these there will be with the weather getting colder.  i think the green rice gallery is displaying some of the pieces of that homeless artist that was run over by a drunk lady last week.  could be some good stuff.

on top of that, the unfit mothers are playing at dolce vita and there is no cover.  you just can’t beat that.

-  my pants feel tight today.

piece out.

-  alright.  so i have been a slack ass and haven’t written since last wedNESday.  i hate that day of the week not being pronounced correctly.  its like nobody ever even acknowledges the D and the second E.  that is how it starts.  you ignore a D and an E.  then people in delaware don’t get their mail.  its a slippery slope, i tell ya.

-  so last week started the new season of indoor volleyball.  insanity is what volleyball should be subtitled as.  27 teams.  15 in recreational and 12 in competitive.  nuts.  that means that this guy is there from six to eleven every wednesday night.  THAT my dear friends, licks taint.  i go and work a nine hour day  doing the desk jockey thing and then go to the gym for another five hours.  that is a fourteen hour work day.  i haven’t done that kind of shit since i worked the holiday season at structure in the monroeville mall.

 but there are a ton of new faces.  and i gotta tell ya, some of them ain’t too bad on the eyes.

i am back with “keep it up” this season, but only as a substitute.  with the way the whole shoulder thing is shaking out, i feel better not having the pressure of playing every week on me.  i am just going to take it easy on the court and keep playing with my rubber band at home.  with any luck, the shoulders will come back stronger than ever.

-  what a show friday night!  will hoge entered my top five of live show moments that i have witnessed last time i saw him and he sang “lover tonight” acapella from atop the sound board.

by the way, rounding out the top five (in no particular order) are chad smith of the chili peppers playing a drum solo for five to ten minutes and whaling on the pedal while standing the whole time, a stone gossard guitar solo during black last time i saw pearl jam in charlotte, the drummer from seven mary three laughing to himself when he saw me probably a little too into a slow rendition of lucky at amos’, and bruce springsteen calling out the audience for a lack of energy in hour three of his performance a couple of years back at UNC while he was still sprinting across the stage and sliding on his knees.

back to will.  if you don’t have it, you need to go out and get yourself “the man who killed love.”  and then you need to go to willhoge.com and find out when he is playing nearest you.  the CD is good, but the man has such showmanship and general stage presence, that you have to witness it first hand.  like we did…

after a rough start to my friday (which included an hour and fifteen minute, twelve mile, drive to work.  people, its rain.  “OH MY GOD, THERE IS THIS MYSTERIOUS LIQUID FALLING FROM THE SKY!”  toolbelt.) i tied a little bit of one on for the show.  blowing off steam as it were.  probably not a good idea considering that saturday night was…

-  CarnEvil!  yes, after much hassle with permits and such on the new found NoDa location, the party revellers returned to the hawthore rd. site that its been held at.  and a hell of a show it was.

a thank you going out to ms. patricia for her wonderful hospitality, yet again, for pregame to the event.

it got a thumbs up from rome the soul man…

after that, rome, gabe, and i hoofed it the few blocks over to scene.  you can see that hollace was sporting roughly five inch heels which weren’t conducive to long walks.

the party was all outside this year and mainly housed in tents.  the back loading docks served as stages for various bands, strip teases and the like.  the main tent out front house the dance floor and lounge type areas.  off of that was a beverage tent, and next to that was the S&M tent.  i chose not to venture into that one.  i prefer my abuse privately.

you can pretty much get away with anything there as far as a costume without any hassle.  hence the reason i thought jesus would be okay.  i even found another jesus.  hell, two guys walked around in banana hammocks in the 40 degree weather as cupids or something.  i tried not to look.  the sack that it takes to sport something like that in public.

is that the halloween party trifecta?  having your picture taken with another jesus, jean luc picard, and chewbacca?  look into it.

yes, they were showing forty foot black and white porn on the wall outside that included this odd scene with two women and an electric beater.  guh.

and a special thanks goes out to rome for letting me kife some of his pics.

it was a great night all in all.  a little vino.  some dancing.  a lot of laughing.  and good friends.

-  i will take charlie batch any day of the week right now and twice on sunday.  dear cowher, please do NOT let big ben start again this week.  it is obvious that he is afraid to take a shot.  he very well could have ran that last ball in instead of flipping that bullshit incomplete pass.  so the steelers lose to the raiders and tie them with shitty records at 2-5.  disgusting.

not to be outdone, the panthers absolutely shit the bed in the second half against the cowboys last night.  i got to witness this debacle live.  and minus the drunken sasquatch that felt the need to stand for pretty much the whole game, forcing our entire section to stand for pretty much the whole game, the seats and view were awesome.  i love how they rotate the cheerleaders around the field at every quarter so that you get to see them all.  the highlight of the game was a toss up between the sax player doing the national anthem and the mascot football game at halftime.  i love watch mascots pommel each other.

so 5-9 this week for football pool and another win in the formerly flour fantasy football league.  weeee!

-  friday night is another opportunity for you to make it up to NoDa (and DOLCE VITA!) for a gallery crawl.  i am not sure how many more of them will occur with the weather.  AND saturday night is rockabilly night at dolce vita.  jem crosland and the hypertonics are playing and it is sure to be a good time.  tell ‘em theYerg sent ya!

-  so i am suffering from a sort of temporal distortion.  that is what i am calling it anyway since it sounds all scientific and is probably an accurate term.  the turning of the clocks back. is messing with my head.  to make matters worse, the power and cable went out in la casa delYerg on friday for no apparent reason.  this left my house in time limbo with all the different readings on electronics.  its 1:05 right now and my stove says its quarter of five.  its all too confusing for me.  when i woke up this morning, the sun was peering through the shades.  it was dark last week when the alarm went off.  so in my mind, i am probably about an hour late for work when my peepers open.  i had this overwhelming feeling that i was going to walk into work and everyone was going to be pissed because i was two hours late or something when i was actually on time.  of course, then when i got out of work this evening, it was dark.  i no a like a dat!  makes me wish i could crawl into bed as soon as i cross the threshold of the house.  that is poo tinky.

i guess i just need time to adjust.

piece out.

-  so i feel like i have this lump in my throat.  kinda like i am starting to get sick, but not really.  my self diagnosis says that it stems from the amount of alcohol drank this weekend.  not just the fact that i comsumed that much alcohol, but also the percentage of liquids that i ingested that were alcoholic throughout the weekend.  you see, other than a half of a pepsi on friday and another half of a pepsi on saturday.  other than that, everything liquid that crossed these lips was an alcoholic beverage from friday morning at 0830 until sunday afternoon at around 1500 hours.  guh.

-  so i woke up this morning and there was frost on the ground.  the coolest thing?  my little tin roof carport next to la casa delYerg keeps frost off the windows of the sexterra.  righteous!  no window scraping!

-  at lunch i heard the presidents of the united states singing “peaches” on the radio.  man, that took me back.

-  so, i heard from my dad today that my sister and her fiancee might be joining him and my step-mom on their trek south for turkey day!  a gobble gobble goo.  a gobble gobble gee.  i like turkey cause its good for me!  i would love to have that kind of Yerg population under my roof for a holiday dinner.

-  with me being a person of the male persuasion living alone, at what internal house termperature do i actually need to turn on the heat?  i was talking to a co-worker about this yesterday because i was thinking of just going and buying a couple of those little ceramic space heaters.  he and i agreed that even if it gets cold enough to hang meat there, its all up to me since i am paying the bills and don’t have female accompanyment to tell me how freaking cold it is in there.  blankets are cheaper than heating.  so if you plan on coming over, at least wear socks.

-  tomorrow night starts the next season of the indoor volleyball league at the (charlotte) sports connection.  i will be working it.  both like that and like that.    hahaha…

i figure that if my shoulders feel good after three or four weeks of playing with that giant rubber band, i might step back on the court and see how things pan out.

-  alright.  traffic gripe.  you are in three lanes of traffic.  its 8ish in the morning.  you are in the far right lane and see an opening developing in the center lane that would advance you much farther down the highway and allow a higher rate of speed.  the guy in front of you has the same opportunity but is hesitating.  so you begin your acceleration and make the move.  at the same time, the guy in front of you wakes up and turns his blinker on.  here is the question:  does that tool belt have the right to motherfuck me through the window with a full bird sidekick if he didn’t have the sack to make the move?!  i didn’t think so either.  that is why i smiled and waved good morning to him as i drove by.

maybe i need one of those “caution: aggressive drivers” signs mounted to the front of the sexterra.

-  keep an eye on the events tab for new and interesting things to do in the CLT.

piece out.

- somebody brought a mylar balloon into the office the other day for their boss. kiss ass. it said “happy boss’s day!” shouldn’t that be “happy boss’ day?” you would think that someone might want to proof read before putting it on mylar. it just screams, “i am an ass kiss for getting you a balloon for starters, but i am a dumbass for not knowing that the punctuation was fucked up on the balloon too. that is it, i am a dumbasskiss.”
- uh. smack that ass…

- so yeah, you got the reader’s digest with the garage dancing. a thanks goes out to greg (especially on the seat hook up), creet, AD, and LP for an insane friday night. the late night drinking jenga back at la casa delYerg was a hoot. although getting jenga tiles, popcorn, and baby carrots (?) out from under the couch the next morning wasn’t what i had in mind.
uh, there was a game…

and dancers….

and drunk people…



- if you are looking for a good flick to rent, “lucky number slevin” was a good one. nice job by hartnett. and you can never go wrong with lucy liu.
- top five celebs i would marry (in no particular order):
a. lucy liu
b. natalie portman
c. sanna lathan
d. scarlett johansson
e. gabrielle union
- if you have an upcoming even that you want posted on the calendar on here, shoot me a comment.
- two days and six hours until i start my trek to the Rock for homecoming. if you cannot tell, i cannot wait. i made a noble effort to try and kill my liver and brain while i was enrolled there. and i took a few shots at it on return visits. now, i just pray i make it through the weekend. expect LOTS of pictures.
- second visit to the orthopedic was today. we got to look at the pretty pictures that we took last week. nada. no tears. to strains. no rips. more inflammation. there might be a flap of a tear that doesn’t show up well on the MRI. treatment was another shot of cortizone and one of those rubber bands for rehab. best case scenario, i strenghten my shoulders and am back playing ball in four to six weeks. worst case scenario, i think i have strengthened my shoulders, go out and play ball and it still feels like shit. then i need to go back and get it scoped. my choice is to be cut free and proud to be. we will see.
piece out.

-  knees and toes.  knees and toes.  head, shoulders, knees and toes.  ah, the glory of calestenics set to music for children’s enjoyment.  of course, we all slept on mats shortly after that.  i yearn for those days again.

-  so last night, i considered my return to the volleyball court to be my possible last hurrah with the impending othropedic visit.  greg was to be in NYC and H was at a HOA meeting.  okay.  so that left dawn, alex, and i on the “legal” roster.  threes it is.

we were positioned as the eight seed [a true eight, not a sand bagging bradley eight.  ] and had to play the nine seed for starters.  the one guy wasn’t on their roster, but i had seen him before and allowed it.  that is right, i have the power to weild judgment on playoff rosters.  not quite god like since it doesn’t involve lightning bolts or anything.  but give me time.

the way i played the first game had people telling me that i need to take off four weeks at a time and come back.  i put a few balls down.  some with a little velocity even.  and i felt like i was covering the court rather well.  my serve however, had the strength of a popcorn fart.  i think i missed maybe a half dozen serves all night.  and all of them horrendously.

we took the first one in a somewhat close game.  i think it was by five or six points.  the second was a lot closer and we dropped it by a few points.  they were eating us up on short balls.  for some reason, i am usually poised deep for something hard driven.  okay, that sounded gross.  volleyballers know what i mean though.

i got a little peaved in the second game when one of their players went back to serve, served the ball over the net, and then called a replay because the wrong player served.  um, hello, rule book?  yeah, out of rotation is an automatic sideout and loss of point.  but i gave up arguing after a minute because i knew at that point, i was adequately pissed off to bring the paint.  i mean pain.

the third game, we handed out an ass whoopin’.  we were clicking.  important since the three of us had never played together before.

onto the next round of playoffs.  anybody that knows a playoff bracket knows that means the one seed is next for us.  this happen to be matt ring’s team.  the same team that took the championship two seasons ago and are more than willing to remind me that my last squad only won last season’s championship becuase they didn’t field a team.  whatever.

this was pretty much where i shit the bed.  i went into the whole night worried about my shoulders and not thinking about the fact that i hadn’t played in four weeks.  my wind and legs left.  maybe not left, but they were sitting out in the car waiting for me to finish embarassing myself so they could go home.

we dropped the first game.  it wasn’t even really close.  the second game, we evened it up by staying close the whole game and then kicking it in at the end.  sideout style ball.  i really should have been a boy scout as a kid.  because i could not for the life of me figure out how to undo the knots that were holding those bricks tied to my quads.  hey zeus that hurt.  it was a definite forrest gump moment.  “but leuitenant dan, you ain’t got no legs!”  we dropped a close third game and i had to be content with taking the one seed three games.

-  these kids these days and their lack of appreciation for classic television.  i was chatting with a few friends last night about halloween.  the whole grizzly adams thing fell by the way side because my brother jas and i were the only two people to watch it, it seems, in the year that it was on.  and in sticking with my desire to be an older television personality (seriously, why do they have to make cops uniforms so expensive?  i want to be john baker from CHiPs so bad) i asked if the guy from my two dads had the beard when he was on BJ and the bear.  i don’t think he did, but the stupid looks that i got from the younger portion of the crowd was astounding.  they tell me that they TV land “oldies” nowadays are fresh prince reruns.  kill me now.

-  so i went to the orthopedic this morning.  this served dual purpose for me, because not only did i get my shoulders looked at, but i also had my dose of birth control in the waiting room of the office.  seriously, if you are two feet away from the kid screaming your name in pitches that only dolphins can understand, do you think you could answer him?!  thanks.  there was an adorable little guy that say beside me well behaved and smiled everytime he dropped a raisin, though.  couldn’t have been more than a year old.

so i go into the doctor.  we do x-rays.  something shows up.  oh, i forgot to take my steel collar point out of my shirt, sorry.  x-rays are clear.  upon examination, the doc comes to the conclusion that i just have bursitis (like i know how to spell that shit) in my right shoulder and might have a lateral tear on my left shoulder.  this means that the ligaments or tendons or whatever inside the socket might be ripped.  they gave me a shot of cortizone in my right shoulder ( i told the guy i was afraid of needles as he looked at my tattoos.) and i have to go back for an MRI on my left.  so, we shall see.

-  good catching up with you last night zagnuts.

-  open mic night at dolce vita tonight.  you can come watch me pick my nose in the corner as i impersonate a wall flower. 

-  gotta run to a meeting, so piece out.

-  chicken butt!

-  so i came to a realization last night.  i was sitting there waiting for what seemed like a half hour in the drive thru (i want to start legislation to get this changed back to through as it surely must be affecting the spelling ability of the youth of america) at the KFC on the way to volleyball.  this wait not only tested my patience, but my stomach.  you see, the car in front of me had an overweight couple that took up the entire front seat of their late model chevy celebrity and they were playing grab ass with each other.  its bad enough that i am not dating anyone, but the have gross affection rubbed in my face like that…

back to my main point.  whenever i go to KFC i always ask for all legs.  sometimes they don’t provide me with what i asked for.  these are frustration times that we live in.  but i came to the realization that as a child i never learned the anatomy of a chicken well enough to be able to navigate anything but the chicken leg for meat.  if you gave me a chicken breast still on the bone, i would probably choke on a rib or something.  and of course this makes me paranoid because you were never to give dogs chicken bones since they can splinter and cut their insides.  so i think i am going to catch a loose bone and bleed out internally.  so yes, only legs for me.

-  i had a headhunter call me the other day since my resume is still lingering on monster.com.  i like my current job, but i still have delusions of some company on monster calling me and telling me that they want to hire me to do nothing for 100k a year.  it could happen.

so this lady calls me and says that she has my resume for a position they are looking to fill.  a “bilingual procurement specialist.”  i tell her  that is great, but i am not bilingual.  “you aren’t fluent in japanese?”  yeah, not so much.  i can speak a little gringo spanish, but that is about it.  “well how did you get into this pile?”  i am not sure, i didn’t make your piles.  but if you get a position for someone that is monolingual (preferably  english) i might be interested.

-  a stupid forward email saved me.  i received that forward a couple of weeks ago about the many uses of WD-40.  about how you can spray it on your mirrors and they won’t fog up and it works on achy joints and silly shit like that.  but the one that caught my eye?  spray it on fireant bites and the sting and itch will go away.  would you know it, those little fuckers ambushed me in the dark after volleyball the other night.  up my pants, all over my flip flops.  i hate those little bastards.  they are so quick.  i only stepped in the grass for a split second and they got me.  so after i smashed all the little fuckers on the hardwood floor, i figured what the hell?  so i gave the WD-40 a try.  it works.  i think i am going to keep a little can of it in the sexterra from now on for those dumb ass days that i step in a mound of them while disc golfing.

-  the sand volleyball league is finally over !  woo hoo!  i get my tuesdays back altogether!  congrats to hot rod’s team both on the win and for bringing that excellent little keg of homebrewed heifenweizen.  that shit was tasty as all get out with the subtle banana flavor.

piece out.